The holidays can be troublesome for me, not because of the sweets and tempting goodies--those I know to stay away from!  For me the challenge is the parade of food that gets displayed intermittently, especially at a pot luck or buffet.

Serve me food on a plate and I know what to eat, but serve it to me piecemeal and my brain starts to chatter. My disease rears it ugly head and starts calculating what I've eaten, what I can still eat,  how many calories I ate before this was served, and is that on my food plan, is that part of my meal...?

Although I  survive, it's not without a great deal of discomfort and "dodging bullets." That is not serenity. I like to eat so I hear god, not so I hear my brain chatter.  

For me, a "Done" Buddy helps. When I have eaten my meal (protein, veggies, fruit, and sometimes a starch), having someone in program to call or text to tell them I am "done" is a life saver. Sometimes getting a "done" text from them can even help me when I might be in negotiation with myself. "The thought crossed my mind..." Being a "Done" buddy helps us both. 

I used to have a "Done" Buddy every night so that when dinner was over and I had my fruit, I would text "done." End of story. Nothing more passes these lips, except a good night kiss from my husband.  They would in turn text me "done" and we knew that there was someone else out there calling the meal "done."

This kind of support is what fellowship is all about.  I highly recommend whether you are a newcomer or an old-timer, finding a holiday "done" buddy is an easy and wonderful way to do service. And of course, when all else fails, pray!

Jacquie E. - Central Oregon Intergroup
Guest Blogger

I have been blessed with nearly 13 months of a pretty easy abstinence. But in the last few weeks, the food has been "on my back," or rather, on my mind. Am I spiritually unfit? Have I been skipping too many meetings, or not doing service? Am I not praying hard enough?

Sometimes my brain forgets that I’m an addict, and thinks that if I just did more, or was smarter, things will go my way. But now I don’t think the answer is to try harder. My will power can only do so much, and I am completely powerless over food. There is one who has all power, and that one is my HP.

Sometimes my HP speaks through other people, such as my sponsor, who reminded me that I have been experimenting with a zero calorie sugar substitute. It is much sweeter than table sugar, but it has no carbohydrates, calories, or artificial ingredients.

​No calories! Sounds great to me! So much so that I have added this ingredient to my daily tea, or twice daily tea, or five times a day tea…and more tea.

Yes, I am an addict. If it tastes sweet, I want it, and I crave more, and more, and more. So for my next experiment, I have stopped using the sweetener for the past six days, with the hope that being off of it will eventually stop my food cravings. So far I’ve observed that I’m not enjoying my tea as much, and the food cravings are still there. This is an awkward time.

What am I doing to stay abstinent? There’s no magic formula. I make outreach calls. I go to meetings. I talk with my sponsor, and with my sponsee. I ask my HP to let me be of service. I’m writing a guest blog. I pray a lot, asking my HP for relief from the cravings, asking for the gift of abstinence one minute at a time. So far, I continue to get the gift of imperfect abstinence, and I am grateful.

I wish I could say that the cravings are gone, but they are not yet. But the OA fellowship is here, meetings are here, the phone is here, and my HP is here. I am not alone. And for the moment, while writing this blog, the food is not on my back. I am grateful for that, for my HP, and for all of you who are on this journey with me.
​
DJR - Guest Blogger - Oregon

Change!   How I dislike that word — even when change is for the better.  "A place for everything and everything in its place, once and for all times" was the motto in my family home.  As an adult, change can be both exciting and terrifying at the same time.  I’m in the process of selling my home and buying a new place — the second down-size to make my physical living space smaller so that I can make my life bigger. 

So terrified —  will I be able to pack everything and be strong enough to handle the move?  Where will I put all this stuff?  I thought I had downsized when I moved six years ago!  What if my house doesn’t sell?  How will I afford two mortgages?  How soon do I have to be fully packed and ready to leave?  What if I’m still here and it starts snowing?  Yikes!!!

​And excited —  I love the open concept.  I love the sliding wood doors that can totally cover the sliding glass door.  I like the kitchen.  I like the light.  I like the cozy feel of the fireplace.  I love love love that I won’t have 14 steps to go up and down multiple times a day, especially when I’m carrying something heavy. 

But growing — in trust in my Higher Power and that my decisions are being guided by HP because I consult, pray, and listen each time a decision needs to be made.   I can’t count the number of times I have had to follow the instruction in the Big Book to "sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me.”  (Big Book, page 13)  

So many things can, and do, go wrong when one is making a big life change.  In the past, I’ve depended more on my common sense and knowledge, pro and con lists, and input from numerous friends and family when making life decisions/change.  Today, I have my Higher Power, my sponsor, and the unfailing program of Overeaters Anonymous to guide me and hold me up when terror changes to panic and cheer with me when excitement can’t be contained and needs to be shared.   I totally agree with another Big Book writer who said  "I’ve never had it so good.”  (Big Book, page 420).  

​Paula - Region One

This workshop was part of our 2020 OA Region One Convention on Zoom and included two speakers, a writing prompt with writing for ten minutes, sharing in small group breakout rooms, and sharing as a large group at the end of the workshop. For each question, participants were asked to put their “one thing” in the chat.  Here (with only minimal editing) are their responses to our three "Just One Thing" questions.
 

One thing I have done to bolster my recovery in 2020:

• Willingness to use Zoom
• Attended lots of different meetings across the country as we are able to attend meeting virtually.
• Went to an OA Rise meeting.
• honestly saying "I don't know" and being teachable
• I started a virtual meeting
• agreed to be a temporary sponsor, which opened a lot of doors
• "Balance" (more of it in life)
• studied the principle of the traditions once a month
• Doing Step 10 from Big Book - spot checking throughout the day, not just at night, I became aware of the sixth sense and intuition. This is the voice of HP.
• I make a choice everyday which road I am choosing to take 1/ the path to recovery abstinence living joyous and free or 2/ control, overeating, despair and suffering
• Setting Boundaries
• Getting a sponsor
• Attended Zoom meetings out of state.
• Making 3 or more outreach calls every day.
• Hosting virtual workshops
• began sponsoring
• Working the first 3 steps with sponsees.
• Learn to surrender to my Higher Power.
• More exercise. Discovering an online gym.
• Working with a sponsor to keep accountable so that I keep moving forward with my Ninth Step work
• Joined the Step 10/11 train which is a group of women who get paired up for two weeks and call each other with their inventories.
• Also to join Step 10/11 train, you can email 1011steptrain@gmail.com. There is an orientation meeting you'll need to attend first.
• listened to my instinct in asking for a particular person to be my sponsor.
• realizing I am a food addict and that changed everything
• Made a decision to live (a healthy life) rather than continue to compulsively overeat.
• Coming to this Convention.
• getting "back to basics" with my program...asking what wirjs? and doing that
• Acting on any small willingness that came to me
• Meditation walk daily
• Lots of shares about steps 10, 11 and 12
• Attend or facilitate a 12 Step workshop from the green workshop guide
• More service
• Started a Step Study using the 12 Step Study and Workshop
• Facilitated a Virtual Step Study using the 12 Step Workshop and Study guide of OA (Green spiral)
• Sponsoring a newcomer very different from me with food and HP issues
• Even with COVID, I can still attend my Yuma meeting and see my Yuma OA’ers even if I am not going this year.
• I took on new service position
• Worked the steps with my first ever step sister from 20+ years ago and together we used the green workshop book. It was amazing. I also started using a meditation app twice daily.
• 3 meals 1 day at a time with nothing but life in between. My choice is to be in recovery.
• acceptance of necessity of shutting down, vs winter travel to warm places, of needing to scale back on risky activities (mountain climbing, skydiving) that also help with weight maintenance, willingness to give up diagnosed food allergens, break with family of origin. Willingness, acceptance, surrender, life on life's terms... etc...

  
Just one thing I would say to a newcomer that might be helpful to them, OR one thing that really helped ME as a newcomer:

• wanna temporary sponsor?
• don't do this alone
• Welcome Home
• Go to as many meetings as possible.
• go to a Virtual newcomer meeting
• find a 12 day sponsor
• slow down and KISS! (Keep it Simple, Sweetie!)
• You're not alone, here's my number, keep coming back.
• This is an addiction and needs to be treated seriously.
• grab a sponsor guide
• Try at least 6 meetings
• listen for your story in others shares
• There is no one right way to do the program. Keep coming back until you find what works for you.
• it works if you work it
• ask for a glossary for all the acronyms
• Don't give up because the program doesn't make sense at first...keep going to meetings, get a sponsor who can guide you through it.
• Put yourself in the middle of the herd so that you create connections and break the isolation!
• Take what you want and leave the rest.....p.s. we do pick up more as we keeping coming back.
• Try the “New to OA” meeting every Saturday at 6PM through Oregon Intergroup.
• oa.org - find a virtual meeting
• Let go of defiance; and remember you have a choice; you don't HAVE to do anything; you are choosing to do this!
• you are welcome you are deserving you are special and you are not alone
• tradition 3, together we get better
• It's a we program!
• It's ODAT, I don't give up eating a certain food for the rest of my life, but for today, I choose not to eat it.
• let us love you  until you love yourself
• Here's my phone number, you're very welcome to call.
• Get a sponsor
• Keep a journal from day 1 to reflect on as you go through your program.
• the only way you fail is to leave
• OA is the "Good Clean Plate Program" at a buffet of ideas.  Take what you want, and leave the rest. However, you might consider taking what you need and leave the rest.
• know that you can't do it wrong ❤
• a desire to stop eating compulsively is the only requirement
• this is a rough time to join a fellowship. congratulations on your bravery. keep coming back.
• Ask someone if they would like a temp sponsor!  it helps!
• Give yourself some grace while learning the lingo and ask questions if you don't understand!
• A sponsor helps in working the 12 Steps and progressing in your recovery. It is okay to ask for a sponsor, even if you are new.
• bring your journal to meetings to take notes for recovery tips!
• Keep coming back and keep trying new things, even if abstinence eludes you.
• Join a Step Study Group
• life will change, the world will change, you will change over the long haul. but this can be the thread of your life....
• go to oaregion1.org/sponsorship.html to get a sponsor
• Ask someone to take you through the Newcomer's First 12 Days.  (Let newcomers know about this resource. 12 Days may seem do-able to a newcomer and make it easier to start.)

 
One thing I would like to commit to adding to my program for the rest of 2020:

• 30 meetings in 30 days....30 phone calls in 30 days...30 meditations in 30 days.  Set up a calendar for whatever you decide to do 30 days on!  Keep it Simple.  :)
• More meditation...walking meditation
• A E I O U 10th Step:   a = abstinence    e = exercise   I = what I did for myself   o = what did I do for others   u = what was uncomfortable (more classic 10th step)  (some people add “Y” for Yahoo’s/Gratitudes) to the above format
• Begin looking at the Principles of the Steps/Traditions/Concepts
• Go to a meeting in every state / every province / why not in other countries?
• Ask for willingness, then act on it as soon as it comes!
• look at my food plan.  Not perfection, but ask my sponsor if I can start committing my food.  Or, find a food plan partner.
• I felt JOY at the idea of attending meetings in other countries -- I'm going to start doing that!
• oa region 9 can take you to Europe meetings
• Make outreach calls on a weekly basis
• really committing to an action plan, including being more open to service.
• continue project -- catch myself in being negative toward myself. work on this and make more progress.
• start a daily practice that supports my well-being for the day -- commit to making this a more regular, daily thing each morning
• Have been working on my action plan.  Have made an action plan surrounding food plan, which helps me eat more regularly and on time. This helps me with daily routine.
• reach out to newcomers. call out and be humble and real
• Daily 3:00 tea time when depression sets in.
• I want to commit to loving myself fiercely for the rest of the year. Being kind to myself.
• Wake up and say I'm glad to be alive and today I'm going to be excited!
• I would tell newcomers that OA has taught me tons of new tools to live my life free of food addiction, obsession, and shame.
• So grateful for this experience. All the best to you for the next 24
• I love this banquet of ideas and the fact you set it up to record commitments in chat!!!

  
Thank you to everyone for your amazing shares!

One of my favorite quotes from our OA 12x12 (page 21) is:  “We ask, and we receive, first the willingness, and then the ability.” 
 
Willingness is the spiritual principle of Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” However, when researching the word willingness, it is found mostly in the third step.  In the AA 12x12 eight quotes are listed for Step Three and only one for Step Six.

Step Three embodies all the steps and as it says in the AA 12x12 on page 5, “Willingness is the key.”  When I am seeking to let go of a character defect, I must be willing to admit my powerlessness, and I must be willing to go to any lengths.
 
In Voices of Recovery there are 21 meditations that mention willingness; 13 in For Today; the Big Book has 11.
 
I have seen willingness work.  It is like the loom for the wool.  The steps don’t work for me unless I am willing.  One important thing for  me to remember is the adage: “act as if.” I had to be willing to do what I heard in meetings, even if I thought it wouldn’t work. 
 
I was willing to leave the room and pray when the craving was unbearable.  I would think, “I’ll do it, but THEN I’ll come back and eat it!” But the act of leaving the room and praying took the craving away!  I’d say, “Well just for today I won’t eat that, but tomorrow I WILL.” But tomorrow I didn’t want to because I felt the freedom and self-acceptance abstinence brings.
 
Today I am willing to take that next step in recovery.  I am willing to let go of fear and self-doubt.  Every step so far has granted me more serenity, courage, and wisdom.      
 
Higher Power, I am willing.
 
Lesley – Region One        

“I wish someone would give me advice about my problems,” one person from our Fellowship shared after a meeting.  Although I stumbled for a minute, as I knew that cross-talk was not allowed, I started to think about her question more.
 
Then I realized that there are ways in OA that we give a great deal of advice:

• We advise depending on God’s guidance
• We recommend reading OA literature
• We suggest you attend several meetings to see the many ways OA can help you
• We suggest using our nine tools of recovery to help guide you
• We advise you that a sponsor is a very helpful person to have in your life
• We suggest spiritual ways to find a new perspective and a new strength

 
There is so much guidance offered and wisdom in taking these actions.  I think the thing is that I have to be the one taking the action instead of waiting for the right words or right person to “fix” me.  As it says in For Today on page 277 about looking elsewhere for peace:
 
“‘I would if I could, my friend, but – as it is for me – the problem is within.’  It is not the weather, the dog, the neighbor, my house, my spouse, or lack of spouse, my job or lack of one; it is within me.
 
For today: I am completely honest in taking stock of myself so I can learn why I feel as I do about myself.”
 
Now that’s some good advice!
 
Gratefully,
Nadine D. – Region One