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OUTSIDE LITERATURE AT OA MEETINGS

8/16/2022

1 Comment

 
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"Recently I attended an Overeater Anonymous meeting, which is registered as an official meeting. I was rather surprised and disappointed to find them reading a book that is not conference approved literature. The newcomer I brought to meeting was very confused."  L.

Dear L., 
 
Thanks for writing to the WSO.   My name is Margie and I am the Region One Trustee Liaison.  I live in Dundee, OR which is about 25 miles southwest of Portland.
 
It is generally considered good policy for OA meetings to use only OA material in their meetings.  Tradition 4 states “Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole.”  I always encourage meetings with practices which are different from many other OA groups to include a statement in their format which explains that they do something different and lets others know that this not a general OA practice.   You can always ask the leaders of the meeting if there was a group conscience taken on this issue. 
 
I believe that a Tradition is higher value than an OA Policy, the autonomy of the group is a Tradition. If it were a meeting which I attended I would call for a group conscience and argue against use of outside literature.

There are times when one is out-voted.  The last time this happened for me (I was out-voted on an issue where I was sure I was right and they were wrong).  
When I realized that everything I said made the others more determined to do it their way and less interested in my way, I stopped talking and then got up and left the meeting for fifteen minutes while I cooled down.  Then I went back.  The vote had been taken and they went on with the meeting.  I choose to go along with the group conscience.  This is how I learn humility. 
 
I hope that this information is helpful to you. 
 
In love and service,
Margie G. - R1Trustee@oa.org

1 Comment

SPECIAL FOCUS GROUPS IN OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS

5/10/2021

3 Comments

 
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Tradition Three says that the only requirement for membership in Overeaters Anonymous (OA) is the desire to stop eating compulsively. Tradition Four states that each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole. 

Have you noticed a recent trend toward special focus groups (groups which are specifically for members who share one trait)?  I believe that this is a wonderful thing, a finding of identity. Identity is the spiritual principle of Tradition Three.  Some of us, especially those who have been around OA for a long time, want everything to stay the same as it has always been.  But slowly, over time, we have allowed many things which we didn’t want to let into OA when the subject was first raised. I would much rather be an “elder statesman” than a “bleeding deacon” (or a “stick in the mud”).  I have been around OA for over forty years now, therefore I have a wealth of experience from which to draw perspective.  On the other hand, when I first came into OA, we did not worry about lots of things, and I like the “let them whirl” attitude of not correcting what others are doing.  I try to stay with correcting my own behaviors and attitudes rather than watching for what others are doing wrong.  It is not my job to be the OA Traditions police. 

Each OA group has the right to do things wrong.  One of my pet peeves is the practice of only reading one Tradition per week at meetings. However, that is NOT against Traditions and so I may grumble, but it is not my job as a Trustee to push my will on others. 

Tradition Four allows each meeting to have its own ways of doing things, unless it affects other groups or OA as a whole.   Both the OA and the AA “12x12” books (The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous and The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous) have interesting anecdotes about experiences with these Traditions. 

One of the stories I enjoy in Tradition Three is about how early in AA, they were very afraid of losing their meetings and their sobriety.  They wanted to keep certain people out and only allow “pure and respectable alcoholics” in.  So, the General Service Office asked that each group to send in its list of “protective” regulations.  The total list of those to be excluded was huge: beggars, tramps, asylum inmates, prisoners, queers, plain crackpots, fallen women, atheists, and more. Those early AA members suddenly realized that if all those rules had been in effect everywhere, no one could possibly have joined AA!  They came to their senses and made the only requirement for membership the desire to stop drinking.

When I came into OA, I think there were some members who would have been very happy if I had gone away--I didn’t believe in the God that those sweet little ladies believed in, plus I had taken drugs and had sex.  But I did have the desire to stop eating compulsively.

These days, people seem to be asking for more special focus groups. Based on some of the experience above, I say let them do it.  It may be that some of those members can start their recovery journey in a special focus group and stay in OA to support all other compulsive eaters toward recovery.  I stayed, even though some people rolled their eyes when I shared, but they didn’t kick me out and I kept coming back until I too found recovery.

So, love and accept them all, even if they challenge your beliefs.  Accept their right to work OA their own way. 
​
Margie G. – Region One

3 Comments

A DIFFERENT VIEW OF ANONYMITY

2/1/2021

3 Comments

 
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In the back of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition) on page 563 is “The Long Form” of the Twelve Traditions.  This is how the Traditions first appeared in 1946.

The long form of the Twelfth Tradition starts on page 565:

“12.—And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance.  It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility.  This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.”

I really love this reading; it helps me remember that there is something bigger than me. Bigger than the conflict between me and that other person who wants us to do it her way instead of my way—the right way.  It makes me want to act like a saner and more giving person. 

Often in OA we get stuck on the idea that anonymity is about not using our names with public media.  That is one of the meanings of anonymity, but it is not the only meaning.

One of the synonyms of anonymity is “namelessness.”  That is why we do not put the names of speakers on OA event flyers or schedules.  The emphasis is on the topic rather than the person.  We do not put names of authors on OA literature either.  We say, “my sponsor told me….” rather than “Jean told me…”  When I say my sponsor says to read xxx; I might as well say the OA program says to read xxx.  That way I honor the process and the program, not one specific person.

I love doing service at a “high” level, but I try to stay humble about it because I have seen people get very wrapped up in being the person in charge or who is at the top.  In OA we only hold positions a short time and then we rotate on to other positions and allow someone else to fill the “top spot.”  Sometimes I have seen people gain weight after being in a top-level position.  I know that I have certain strengths, but I also have weaknesses and so do other people. I do not want to lose my abstinence after being in a high position.  I know that my recovery is worth far more to me than any OA service position. This “Long Form of the Twelfth Tradition” helps me stay right-sized.

Margie G. – Region One
  
 
PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE LAST NAMES IN BLOG POST COMMENTS

3 Comments

TRADITIONS & LITERATURE CHOICE AT OA MEETINGS

11/11/2020

1 Comment

 
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“Is this really an OA meeting?”

M. asked about a meeting which only used the AA Big Book and not any OA literature.  She was upset with the meeting and wondered if this was “really” an OA meeting since they didn’t use OA literature.  This is my response as a Trustee. 
 
M.,
 
To me this situation is a bit of a dilemma because the AA Big Book is in fact OA approved literature.  And I can sure understand why you are confused by the attitude of some of this group’s members.  I love the Big Book and its message has play a huge part in my recovery – but so have several of the OA books.   I particularly like the Overeaters Anonymous Third Edition.
 
In general, I love OA literature because I get to hear my story.  OA literature is written by compulsive eaters for compulsive eaters.  That being said, according to Tradition 4, “Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole.”  This gives each group the right and responsibility to operate as they see fit.  The OA 12 and 12 goes on to discuss some of the matters that do affect OA as a whole.  They include having another affiliation, ignoring one or more of the Traditions, depending on a handful of members for leadership instead of trusting the group conscience, limiting membership, promoting non-OA approved literature at meetings, focusing on topics not related to recovery, promoting outside enterprises and issues, breaking another members’ anonymity, accepting free service or rent from outside people or institutions or forgetting our primary purpose.
 
It is a break of OA Tradition to bring in outside literature.  The best way to handle that would be to speak up and simply say that it bothers you to have outside literature brought in – no matter what the outside stuff is. 
 
When I speak up about a Tradition break, I often come across much harsher than I mean to because it is so hard to speak against others when I am pretty sure they don’t agree.  I find that if I gently and say something like “Have you thought about this outside stuff being a break of Tradition?” Or simply and quietly stating that you object and not push the point. 
 
Even when I am right it does not convince others if I am too forceful – unfortunately I have done that several times.  OA is broad and inclusive as long as the group is using the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as the basis for the meeting.
 
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you.  You are welcome to contact me any time either through the Region One website or directly.
 
In love and service,
Margie – Region One

1 Comment

READING ALL TWELVE TRADITIONS

10/12/2020

2 Comments

 
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In the area where I live there is a practice in the meeting format which I disagree with--that is the practice of only reading one Tradition per meeting rather than reading all Twelve Traditions. 
 
The first thing I need to say is that this is NOT a practice which is against OA Traditions.   There is nothing in the Traditions which says anything about this issue.   Each meeting is autonomous and may choose which readings to read at each meeting. 
 
I really feel that it is much better for us as overeaters to hear both the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at every meeting.  We forget those things which work for us and hearing them read every week really strengthens our ability to remember them. 
 
I know when I was new and not feeling very strong in my abstinence, it was helpful for me to hear every week that the only requirement for membership was to have a desire to stop eating compulsively.    But if the people in my meeting only read that Tradition during one month of the year I might not have heard it, and may have given up on OA and on myself. 
 
And who can do without being reminded of Unity, no opinion on outside issues, that leaders do not get to govern, and that we need to be self-supporting?  We also need to hear that our Primary Purpose is to carry the message to others, about attraction rather than promotion, and that anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions. 
 
I really believe that we need to continue to read all our Traditions every week in every OA meeting.  But this is simply my opinion.  So please know that no one is doing it wrong if they do not agree. 
 
In love and service,
Margie G. - Region 1

2 Comments
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