For compulsive eaters, Thanksgiving sets off a slippery season going through December holidays. Some say it starts on Halloween, but Thanksgiving starts a time of food temptation and family get-togethers. A
dangerous combination. I’ve been blessed now with 31 abstinent Thanksgivings in this program and looking forward to my 32 nd , one day at a time. Did this happen by magic, yes and no. I have memories of
horrible Thanksgivings before program, I knew I couldn’t trust myself around food, and I was right. I was powerless to stop no matter how many good intentions and resolve.

Before program, holidays found me in the food and miserable. Now, I feel gratitude, a lot of gratitude on Thanksgiving. What changed? Two things, first doing my footwork using the steps and tools of OA. And second, surrendering to a loving HP who adds the elusive element of actually being able to get through any day abstinently.

I truly have a new family in OA. I make outreach calls on Thanksgiving. It feels funny to not take Thanksgiving off from OA people since it’s a holiday. But talking with an OA person who gets me and talks my language helps me remember what sanity looks like.

I also try to go to an OA meeting on Thanksgiving to support Thursday meetings which are holding  a meeting that day. One of my first abstinent Thanksgivings, a program person had a dinner event for COE friends. Many of us brought cups and scales and put on our plates what was on each of our food plans. That was wonderful training for choosing abstinent Thanksgiving foods ever since.

There are lists of tips for abstinent holidays which I will link below.

My top five would be:

1. Remember that holidays aren’t special eating days for us. They are another “one day at a time” with our same Action Plans.
2. Nothing tastes as good as abstinent feels. Nothing feels as good as not feeling stuffed and bloated on Thanksgiving.
3. My abstinence is important, the best service I can give.
4. Talk to another COE on the holiday.
5. Focus on relationships, not food.

Any day is a good day to start abstinence, and why not this Thursday? I hope to see you in the rooms and on the road to happy destiny.

From Region One webpage:
https://www.oaregion1.org/uploads/1/4/0/4/14047174/holiday_survival_tips.pdf

Carrie A. Region One

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.  It works when other activities fail.” So begins Chapter 7 “Working with Others” in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, p. 89. 

In 2015, I was recuperating at home from major surgery and could not go to the Portland OA meetings I usually attended.  My OA meetings, then, transitioned to phone meetings.  I heard a speaker talk about her recovery through applying the instructions found in the Big Book.   I called the speaker and asked her to guide and sponsor me through the Big Book.   Why not try it?  Nothing else was working for me.  She agreed.  One of the most important principles she continuously impressed upon me was service.

At first, service was just to keep me from compulsive overeating.  In working all of the Steps, my sponsor told me what Dr. Bob wrote on his prescription pad:  "trust God, clean house, help others."  A six-word synopsis of what I needed to do to become happy, joyous and free.

I started reaching out to newcomers I heard share at phone meetings.  I started to sponsor according to the Big Book instructions.  And I offered myself for outreach calls to any member who wanted to chat.

But sometimes there are no new sponsees or outreach calls.  Or if I make a call and ask “how are you?” the other party may be just fine and really doesn’t need any help from me.

So I had to expand my definition of “service.”  It wasn’t just for OA members.  It had to expand to every single person that showed up in my life: sponsees and outreach callers, for sure.  But I added friends, family, strangers, drivers, cashiers, waiters and waitresses---in other words, everyone to whom I could add an instant of joy.   My job was to be of service to absolutely everyone.

Here’s the miracle of that:  while I first started to do service to insure my abstinence, now (six years later), I actually WANT to do service for others. I WANT to make their lives a little cheerier by a kind word or gesture.  I WANT to brighten someone else’s day.  And the by-product of my desire is a fairly easy, smooth, and effective abstinence and food plan, not to mention healed relationships, peace of mind, weight loss, building of self-esteem, etc.

A couple of years ago I added something to serving others.  In 2017, I started leaving small gifts, such as Dollar Tree pencils with a reindeer motif, with tips at restaurants.  I gave them to the cashiers at McDonald’s, gas station attendants, my pharmacist, the receptionist at my dentist’s office.  Anyone doing service for others would get a little treat from me. And I soon added an inexpensive something to every other holiday during the year.  I just wanted to give that other person a smile:  a heart-shaped candy at Valentine’s Day, fun stickers for Independence Day or Thanksgiving.    

You’d think I gave these random people gold nuggets.  They smile, they say “thank you,” some say “you’ve made my day.”  Even the grumpiest lighten up a bit.  But I don’t do any of this to get a “thank you.”   NONE of this simple giving has anything to do with me.  But it sure has everything to do with my abstinence, my self-esteem, and my relationship with my Higher Power.

And that’s the gift I give myself.  It works when other activities fail.

Happy Holidays, my fellows.  And happiness throughout the coming year!

Anonymous
Guest Blogger

The holidays can be troublesome for me, not because of the sweets and tempting goodies--those I know to stay away from!  For me the challenge is the parade of food that gets displayed intermittently, especially at a pot luck or buffet.

Serve me food on a plate and I know what to eat, but serve it to me piecemeal and my brain starts to chatter. My disease rears it ugly head and starts calculating what I've eaten, what I can still eat,  how many calories I ate before this was served, and is that on my food plan, is that part of my meal...?

Although I  survive, it's not without a great deal of discomfort and "dodging bullets." That is not serenity. I like to eat so I hear god, not so I hear my brain chatter.  

For me, a "Done" Buddy helps. When I have eaten my meal (protein, veggies, fruit, and sometimes a starch), having someone in program to call or text to tell them I am "done" is a life saver. Sometimes getting a "done" text from them can even help me when I might be in negotiation with myself. "The thought crossed my mind..." Being a "Done" buddy helps us both. 

I used to have a "Done" Buddy every night so that when dinner was over and I had my fruit, I would text "done." End of story. Nothing more passes these lips, except a good night kiss from my husband.  They would in turn text me "done" and we knew that there was someone else out there calling the meal "done."

This kind of support is what fellowship is all about.  I highly recommend whether you are a newcomer or an old-timer, finding a holiday "done" buddy is an easy and wonderful way to do service. And of course, when all else fails, pray!

Jacquie E. - Central Oregon Intergroup
Guest Blogger

Hi, I'm Sheila and I'm a compulsive overeater.

The holidays are here, along with the potential for weeks of overindulging, overspending, and unmet expectations. Keeping my abstinence and serenity during this time of festive stress is a full time job, but I don't have to do it alone.

I can ask my higher power to grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I am powerless over the changing of the seasons, but I can change how I react to them.

I can have courage to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.

I can actively seek ways to help others and be of service.

I can stay honest in my expectations.

By working steps 10, 11, and 12 daily, I can be free to enjoy the festivities.

I can gift those around me with patience, tolerance, kindness and love.

I can ask for the gift of willingness for myself -- willingness to grow in wisdom day by day.
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Sheila B.
Guest Blogger

This Thursday, many of us will celebrate a national holiday.  We will be inundated with images of people indulging in large of amounts of food.  For compulsive eaters, these images may invoke fantastical memories of the “sense of ease and comfort” which our disease remembers once came from that first compulsive bite.  Of course, we also know that this is an elusive and extremely short-lived sensation, quickly followed by guilt, shame and remorse.

Thank heavens we have the solution of the 12 Steps and a power greater than ourselves to grant us the ability to enjoy the holiday – or this Thursday – without slowly killing ourselves with food and eating behaviors from our past.

One way to support our recovery is to remember that although this Thursday is called “Thanksgiving,” another term for it might be a “Day of Gratitude.”  My family used to follow the corny tradition of going around the table and naming what we were grateful for.  For myself, I start my list with how grateful I am for the good food at my table and the fact that I don’t have to eat too much of it.  Then I add stuff like my family, my home and more. 

It is hard to feel sorry for myself that I don’t have the ability to eat food I shouldn’t when I am listing how grateful I am for the life I have now that I don’t practice my disease. 

What are you grateful for this week?
 
Lisa S. - Oregon Intergroup
Guest Blogger

​The holidays can easily morph into "holidaze" without careful thought. The slogans from our OA program can be just the tool we need to survive and thrive on those special days.

For example, a slogan I hear at meetings around Thanksgiving is “it is only Thursday.” I find this useful when I get carried away with obsessive thoughts about what I will serve or what I will eat. My distorted thinking gets me into this trap.  Where do I get the idea that a certain food can only be prepared at this certain time of year and because of that I need to eat as much of it as I can because after all I won’t get it again for another year?

“One day at a time” helps ease me through the holiday preparations. As I plan out what I will do in preparation each day before the holiday I don’t have to do it all in one or two days and end up too exhausted to even enjoy the festivities.

“This too shall pass” serves me well when holiday expectations far exceed their reality. Combined with “it’s just another day,” I have proven winners for this time of great expectations.

When tempted with holiday treats I can remember “nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels.” I can ask myself questions about what the consequences might be for eating a certain item.  For example, how would I feel physically if I ate it? Perhaps the answer would be sluggish or stuffed.  How would I feel emotionally? Perhaps guilty, shameful or defeated. How would I feel spiritually? Perhaps disconnected from my Higher Power as I had committed not to do this.

What slogan would help YOU through this time of year when in the month of December alone there are at least 14 different holidays? Add your thoughts in the comment section to encourage another compulsive eater.

Jan E. - Oregon Intergroup
Guest Blogger

Each holiday season I am abstinent is sacred for me.  When I used to focus on the food, Food, FOOD, I never had time to really connect with my family and friends.  Since OA and an abstinent way of life, I have much more time to devote to making connections that enrich my life in a deeper way. Even family who may like to "talk about others" gives me a chance to let them know how much I appreciate them and move conversation into a healthier topic.  Lessons I've learned in program about listening instead of being so ready to give advice (or my opinion) have supported my effort to have deeper friendships...even within my family. 
 
I usually try to book-end (call an OA buddy before and after) holidays events so I have a quick connection to remind me why an abstinent way of life is so important every day of the year.
 
So as you head into the holiday season I encourage you to focus on the people at the event and listen to them as they speak from the heart.  It will warm their heart as well as your own.
 
In OA Service,
Sue B. - Region 1
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