As I think about Unity Day coming up on February 29, I wonder about this celebration and I ask myself: how will acknowledging this day make any difference in my recovery?  So I started reading, and then reflecting on what it means to be united in this fellowship:
 
“No matter what problem I have with food, I am welcome.”
I am united in the solution to our common problem.  I begin to recover because I can identify with your weaknesses and actions around food.
 
“It is our weaknesses, not strengths that bind us.”
We are a group of people who would not normally mix, and yet…It doesn’t matter what your faith looks like.  It doesn't matter what your gender, or sexual preference is.  My sponsor is a different faith than I am, and yet when I have a struggle and need help she encourages and reminds me to pray.  How amazing is that?  We are of different beliefs but she encourages me to pray to my Higher Power.
 
“We are all together now reaching out for power and strength...”
We reach out to each other because, in spite of our differences, we have so much more in common that connects us.  Your strong recovery helps to strengthen mine. 
 
Last year I took part in a United Day celebration from a different OA fellowship than mine.  During the hour, a lovely gal gave each one of us a white rose. As she handed them out one by one, she mentioned how grateful she was for each person as she did.  I felt so welcomed and loved and united to this group even though all she said to me was “Thank you for coming here today to be with us.”  That small act made me feel like such a grateful part of this fellowship and definitely united in their love.

It is definitely beyond my wildest dreams!
 
So grateful to be united with you,

Nadine D.
OA Region1 Member at Large

Let’s put some thought and feeling into choosing a sponsor for a few minutes now, and for a few days in practice. With sponsors, I have learned to listen, to care, face down my fears, and how to recover physically. I can experience the most meaningful, sustainable recovery when I use some forethought and a few questions before taking the first step on this journey. In my experience, there are three helpful practices when considering this opportunity.

[1] Ask if, as a sponsor, they listen-to-understand (just right) or prefer to tell stories (too hot) or read from the literature (too cold). I will be baring my spirit, repeatedly, happily, with gusto or dragging my heels. I can uncover their style by asking if they listen-to-understand and then by practicing through some general conversation over a couple of introductory meetups or after-meeting sessions. I have suffered from know-it-all-itis most my life and only in the program have I been able to be of quiet humble service. I learned how to be quieter from a sponsor with great listening skills and a knowing smile.

[2] Ask how long they have had the physical recovery that has drawn me to them. From what I’ve read in our (OA and AA) literature, enduring sponsors typically average 10 years. In my hometown of Seattle, my sponsor has 20+ years of recovery, and most of that time has had a sponsor of their own. I have had a couple of sponsors relapse and both said that was likely connected to their being without their own sponsor for a few months. I’m not saying it is always this way, and I am saying, having an enduring example with a sponsored-sponsor bolstered my own experience while deepening my connections into the OA community.

[3] Choose someone of whatever gender you aren’t attracted to. For most people this is obvious, and yet for someone as deeply-addicted and in-denial as I was, it was super-easy for me to say, “I can work with either gender, I’m a parent, not a sexist”…until the 4th and 5th step. When I came to this part of our program, my serenity unraveled, and I quickly realized I had all kinds of feelings that I was projecting into our relationship. I encourage experienced sponsors only do the short-term (less than a month) type of sponsoring if there is any risk of romance. New sponsors seem to need to learn this lesson themselves, and for them I offer to listen to understand how they feel and ask what they might do differently next time.

So, my two cents? We all have an opportunity to engage our next sponsor with some foresight into happier outcomes based on gender, listening skills, and length of recovery. Sponsors enjoy more agape-love and gratitude when they can give and receive as a sponsor, and less as buddy or flirt.

In Service to the Good of OA,
Avi R. - Region 1

​Why are there intergroups? What do they do for us?  How come we have to send them money?  Why do we need to send a representative? AND ……Why should we care? 
​
To me: Intergroups can offer recovery services which individual OA groups really couldn’t do on their own.  Intergroup can provide a website so people can find out about meetings or events which are happening locally (in the old days intergroups paid for a phone number so people could look in the phone book and call to get information).  They bring people together so that recovery events can happen: retreats and workshops; newsletter, meeting list, literature ordered from WSO and provided for people to purchase, sometimes Intergroups provide group insurance so that individuals are covered if someone hurts themselves at a meeting or event, and many more. 

Groups send representatives to Intergroup so that information about all those services can be shared and people are informed about upcoming events so all are able to participate on committees for retreats, workshops, public information events, and all can attend events because they know when events are happening. 

Intergroups can host workshops on Sponsorship, Abstinence, Unity and diversity within OA, or finding a Higher Power.  Or they can sponsor retreats where an outside speaker can share on their recovery. 

These are just some of the wonderful things Intergroups can do together which individual groups could not do alone.

So, support your local Intergroup with your money and time to help your own recovery. 

Margie - Region 1