For today, i will...

I wanted my first blog to be uplifting, something insightful, beautiful, inspirational. But that’s not where I am at today. Today, I am struggling. When I first came to OA, I thought I was at the lowest point in my life. It was easy to admit my life was out of control and that I needed help. I wish I could say that my journey in OA was solid from that point forward, but I would be kidding myself and lying to you. No, I dragged my feet, tried to do the program my way and was selective about what advice I would follow, and not surprisingly, I did not recover. Truth be told, I am still not recovered. Today, I am abstinent by the grace of my HP and I am grateful because in the last year alone, I have been arrested and briefly incarcerated, homeless, my wife filed for divorce, and two of my kids are choosing sides and not talking to me. And I don’t think that things are going to get better from this point forward. I might lose everything, my home, my dog, my job. I am scared to death. But I am not compulsively overeating. No, I am maintaining and working toward a healthy body weight. So that is a miracle. And if this miracle is possible, maybe HP has something in store for me that I can’t see either. Because when I was 355 pounds with diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, I didn’t believe that I would be alive to see my 50th birthday next month. I hope I do make it. But you know what, I am not alone in this journey. I have my
OA family praying for me and encouraging me. I still make mistakes and I owe amends, I am far from perfect. I am just another member of OA who found that service is a lifesaving tool. So for Today, I will trust in my HP a little more, I will admit my mistakes and make amends, and I will survive another day.

​James G. Second Vice Chair