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DANCING WITH THE GORILLA

4/28/2021

5 Comments

 
Picture
​“I think I’m doing pretty darn good in this OA program.  I don’t think about food very much anymore.  I go to meetings and try to be of service.  My clothes are fitting quite nicely, thank you very much.  I think I’m going to take a break from all this OA busyness.  Thank you OA, but I’ve got it from here.”
 
Oh, aren’t those words I’ve thought about saying more than once?  When can I stop doing this?  It takes so much time and effort and don’t you know that I really am starting to like myself now?  I’ve got all the information I need to set me on the right path.  Off I go….
 
Wow! For me, that type of thinking is indicative of the lies I tell myself.
 
What I know to be true is that the night I believed the lies that “I’m ok now, I’m at a normal body weight so it won’t matter and I just want it!” was the night my food addiction came waltzing right back in.  Waltzing like a gorilla, that is.  It picked me up and threw me down, and you know what they say, “When you’re dancing with a gorilla, you’re not done until the gorilla says you’re done.”
 
Yes this program takes time, but the results give me a life of peace. Peace with myself, peace with my Higher Power and peace with those around me.  It is true what they say that we never graduate from this Twelve Step program.  It is a design for living that works and as long as I’m living, I want to follow this design!
 
The Big Book of AA says:  “We are not cured of alcoholism.  What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 85)
 
Today, I know, that I know, that I know, I am an addict.  I will always need this Twelve Step program to guide me.  There is no leaving it behind because I’m tired of doing it. Well, there is, but the gorilla is waiting and I truly don’t want to dance anymore!
 
Gratefully done dancing,
 
Nadine D. – Region One

PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE LAST NAMES IN BLOG POST COMMENTS
5 Comments
Lesley K.
4/28/2021 02:56:40 pm

Thank you Nadine! It is true freedom to leave the gorilla behind. And my recovery keeps getting better and better. New freedoms. New apes (CDs) left behind.

Reply
Paula Z
4/28/2021 04:19:13 pm

Wonderful blog, Nadine. I want to be waaaay on the other side of the room from the gorilla when the dance music starts!

Reply
Barb J
5/4/2021 12:16:40 pm

Thank you for this service Nadine and the reminder that we never graduate from being a compulsive overeater but we do have a daily reprieve contingent on maintaining a fit spiritual condition.

Reply
April P
5/10/2021 08:59:29 pm

Thank Nadine; it's a powerful reminder of the reality of this disease, and a wonderfully heartwarming realization that I'm not the only person who has these thoughts on occasion. Of course I want to be 'done', and it's times like that when my connection to HP and my recovered self remind me that the life I'm blessed to live in recovery is direct result of practicing these principles in all my affairs, to the best of my ability, one day at a time. May I never graduate this program of living!

Reply
Sharon B.
5/13/2021 01:05:02 pm

Thank you for the reminder. Part of my abstinence is abstaining from the thought that I can leave OA. I love the reminder that leaving OA is dancing with a gorilla. Wonderful!

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