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change

5/23/2023

2 Comments

 
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God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
 
Change. There’s that pesky word again. As your average run of the mill addict, I have always viewed change as the enemy. It is scary, unpredictable, and usually involves a lot of work.  As my recovery deepened, change became to become something I associated with excitement, newness, and satisfaction……that was until this last year when CHANGE took on a whole new form!

Change landed with a THUD in my life beginning about a year and a half ago. This was the taboo kind of change that my grandmother and mother used to talk about in hushed whispers around the kitchen table when I was a kid. The kind of change that comes with forgetting where I put my phone a million times a day, finding every undone chore by my teenager even more irritating than usual, and living with my very own personal summer regardless of the temperature outside.

You guessed it – that wonderful time of a women’s life called Menopause. Why would I choose menopause as my topic for the Region One Overeaters Anonymous blog?  I guess its because if I ignore this change and pretend it doesn’t impact my recovery, then I leave the door open for my disease to hold a coup.

Menopause is a natural stage of life, but for a person like me with an addiction, it’s a recipe for disaster. Even though my food plan hadn’t changed in five years my body. My emotional ups and downs, as a result of hormone fluctuations, made me feel like I was on the Matterhorn at Disneyland. Prior to recovery, food was my comfort in times of stress, depression, and anxiety. How would I cope now that my stress, depression, and anxiety were all at a level 10 and ready for take off?

I oscillated between pushing back and fighting it like crazy and ignoring it completely and pretending it wasn’t happening. Both solutions had me in the driver seat! Like so many other things in my life, I like to be in control, which frequently interferes with deepening my relationship with my HP. As my Sponsor frequently reminds me, this is a spiritual program with a spiritual solution.

My way wasn’t working, but was I really going to apply the 12 steps to Menopause…. YES I WAS!

And so, I did. I started by finding a quiet spot (hard to do with a teenager), closing my eyes, and truly admitting to myself that I could not manage this on my own, that HP could and would if I let them. Once I opened myself up to the HP and the steps, the miracles came.

The next day on my way to work, a Menopause researcher/advocate was being interviewed on the morning news. I learned several tips on how to support myself and my body, as well as resources I could look up. I then made an appointment with my nutritionist to adjust my meal plan to better support my changing body and added additional time in my day for reading OA approved literature when I experience those emotional changes. I have also been taking the time in my morning and evening time with my HP to give those troubling things to HP to carry for me. 
 
When I remember to give it over every day, and remain open for the assistance, I experience greater serenity during this CHANGE. I guess I’m thankful for Menopause…yes, I said thankful...it has given me another opportunity to strengthen my recovery and my relationship with HP, which is the most important relationship I have.
​
As for my relationship with my teenager…HP suggested boarding school….…Just kidding! 😊

teri o.
​

2 Comments

willingness

4/18/2023

3 Comments

 
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Willingness is the key to my recovery.  In the morning, I read On Awakening and pray the Third and Seventh Step prayers.  I also ask specifically for willingness to do the next right thing throughout the day.   I am strong willed and I don’t always have the willingness to do what is right when what is easy appears to be an option.  There are also times when I am not sure what I should do next.  In either circumstance, I can pray ,”please grant me the willingness to do the next right thing.”  My Higher Power is always ready to give me the willingness I need to stay in recovery and be abstinent.  I ask and it is given to me.

​Lisa S.  

3 Comments

The Twelve Step way of life

3/7/2023

1 Comment

 
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I’ve been graced with thirty-six years in program and twenty-nine in abstinence. Actually, it’s more accurate to say that I’ve been blessed with 10,585 one-days-at-a-time of abstinence. The Alcoholic’s Anonymous Big Book on page 85 says” It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”  Substitute food for alcohol and compulsive eating for alcoholism, and it gets my attention to do whatever is necessary to stay in fit spiritual condition.
I have a rigorous plan each day to maintain this fit condition. The items have changed over the years, but my commitment has been to “going to any lengths” to do the discipline. 
Two of my daily reminders of fit spiritual condition are:
  • The most spiritual thing I do all day is to weigh and measure my food. (This is how I do my food plan but could work with any abstinent food plan.)
  • My abstinence is the most important thing in my life without exception.
These don’t sound “spiritual” as do prayer and meditation. But they are the gutsiest beliefs I go by to demonstrate that yes, I believe there is a better solution than compulsive eating, and I will have no doubts about my commitment.
I’ll end with gratitude for the Twelve Step way of life, and yes, after 36 years in program, much of my life is beyond my wildest dreams.

​Carrie A. 
1 Comment

BIG GUY

2/21/2023

6 Comments

 
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I heard it called 'God', as a toddler of three
and during my childhood, it was inside of me
I sat in the church pew, I prayed to the sky
I sought out some 'big guy', but I didn't know why

upwards and skyward, they said good children go
but should you be bad, you will go down below
so what did it mean then, to be good or be bad?
I soon came to realize, it was thoughts that I had

I fought those thoughts often, inside my own head 
but could never control, those things that I did 
rot full with trouble, I stumbled through years
ever with something, to drown out my fears

was always a crutch, that I used as a power 
I drank or I gambled, or I ate by the hour
nothing external, could help set me free 
nor was it willpower, it was inside of me

a gentle voice whispered, It won't kill the pain 
but off in the darkness, the food called my name 
I ate and I ate, and I pushed that pain down 
but one day I heard it, that comforting sound 

It offered to guide me, to free me from strife 
and with no strings attached, It rebuilt my life 
but what should I call you? I questioned that voice 
I'm of your understanding, so my name is your choice

I have been called father, and some call me God
others say H.P. one even said Claude
of my own understanding? I glanced at the sky
if I get to choose, I'll call you 'big guy'

so I trusted that power, that was greater than me
I had tried it alone, but had never been free
the first step, he said, you need to surrender 
and in the next two steps, a faith you must render 

step four and step five, are a moral house cleaning
where voicing your harms, is a chance at redeeming
in step 6 you become willing, to turn things around
to accept you are powerless a new start you've found

by step 7 you find, you're less likely to stumble
a new person inside, as you learn to become humble
at times you've harmed others, or family and friends
in steps 8 and step 9 you can make amends

in step ten you review, the day that has passed
making amends, leaving things in the past
then it urged me to listen a message was there 
to find the solution you reach out in prayer

step 12 is of bringing, that message to others
those who still suffer, your sisters and brothers
to keep what you have, that peace and that calm
you have to serve others, and pass it along

so I live in recovery, one day at a time
that life of the past, I have left it behind
I live for the moment now, hour by hour
that 'big guy' walks with me, as my higher power

Diane D
6 Comments

THE AGE OF MIRACLES

1/24/2023

0 Comments

 
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​"The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that." p. 153 BB

​This January OA celebrated its 63rd Birthday. This year's theme was Age of Miracles, and what a miracle it was, too finally return to the in-person party.
 
I had never attended the OA birthday party and had not attended an in-person event since Region One convention prior to the pandemic. So, I figured this would be the perfect time to cross it off my bucket list.
 
It’s been a difficult few years. However, I have witnessed many miracles, big and small, this past three years. None have been as meaningful as the power of fellowship and the gift of sharing recovery.
 
 I have attended meetings all over the world, something I never thought possible. During the difficult times, the lonely times and the doubting times I have had fellows’ day and night in a zoom meeting somewhere to help me get through one more day at a time. All of these were Miracles of fellowship and recovery.
 
It was more than enough to get me through and kept my cup full…so I thought. Sitting on the plane returning to Vancouver Canada after the convention I realized that my cup had been almost, but not quite full, there was room for more and I hadn’t even realized it!
 
At the convention the rooms, halls, restaurants, nooks, crannies and elevators were filled with friends and fellows from around the world. Over 800 people registered for the OA birthday party and everywhere you went there was someone to talk, laugh, and cry with. The workshops were standing room only, and in every workshop I attended, I witnessed the unison of head nods, the hearts of so many who understood...simply understood.  
 
Many of us had never met before…but were not strangers we were fellows. At the closing we made the biggest circle I had ever seen, put our hand in each other’s and prayed the OA promise together.
 
You could feel the LOVE in the room and as you looked around you knew that every single person in that massive banquet room would be there for you if you needed.
 
That willingness to hold on to each other and reach out our hand to help is what makes this program of recovery a Miracle. But to actually feel that hand in mine…that was the missing piece I needed to fill the rest of my cup. As I looked out the window I took a moment to reflect on just how lucky I was, to play a small part in bringing this kind of Miracle to Region One, with our first in person convention this coming year.
 
I can’t wait to stand beside you, reach out my hand and put it in yours finding love and understanding beyond my wildest dreams. See you in October 2023!!!!!
 
“Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey.”  p.152-153 BB
 
Teri O.

0 Comments

resolutions

12/29/2022

1 Comment

 
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I opened my email this morning and one of the first emails had the subject line, "start your new years resolution early," and went on to talk about the importance of self care and taking positive steps towards better health.  Of course, one of the positive steps the email recommended was that I sign up for this particular weigh and pay company's plan that would miraculously solve my weight problem.  I thought about that subject line "New Years Resolution."   How many New Years, Mondays, mornings did I resolve to start a diet and stay on it?  I am not sure I can count that high.  I absolutely admit that I am powerless over food.  For me, that means that I simply cannot take even one bite of these foods.  It also means I cannot afford any attempts to control my food on my own, or any other human, will power.  Making a resolution is appealing because it is an attempt to take back control over my food.  I am grateful that HP whispered this fact to me and I didn't trip too far down that fairy lane of make believe.   The only solution that has worked for has been following the 12 steps of Overeaters Anonymous.   The first step is admitting that I am powerless over food.  Rather than making resolutions, I ask God for the willingness to do His will today and for the willingness to follow an abstinent plan of eating for this day.  That is what works.  I am so grateful for this program and for those of you who walk this path with me. 


Lisa S. - Region One
1 Comment

pros and cons

12/14/2022

4 Comments

 
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In recovery I get to live life differently
In recovery I like myself more and more and more and more
In recovery I feel useful
In recovery I can be kind, even to people and places I don’t agree with
In recovery I’ve learned the value of self-love and self-care
In recovery I get to feel peace
In recovery I get to know hope
In recovery I can grant myself and others grace
In recovery I have learned a humbleness
In recovery I truly have lost interest in self things, and gained interest in my fellows
In recovery I have so much more energy to do all the fun things!

Out of recovery, I’m always mad at myself and everybody else
Out of recovery I berate myself for mistakes for days
Out of recovery I am spiritually sick
Out of recovery I am physically sick very often
Out of recovery I am of no use to my community
Out of recovery I am very self-centered
Out of recovery I am miserable, frustrated, lonely and tired

I like myself in recovery.  I’m going to keep working the steps and applying the principles embodied in them so I can continue to grow as the person my Higher Power has helped me to become and so that I may carry the message.

Laurie A

4 Comments
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