Oh, aren’t those words I’ve thought about saying more than once? When can I stop doing this? It takes so much time and effort and don’t you know that I really am starting to like myself now? I’ve got all the information I need to set me on the right path. Off I go….
Wow! For me, that type of thinking is indicative of the lies I tell myself.
What I know to be true is that the night I believed the lies that “I’m ok now, I’m at a normal body weight so it won’t matter and I just want it!” was the night my food addiction came waltzing right back in. Waltzing like a gorilla, that is. It picked me up and threw me down, and you know what they say, “When you’re dancing with a gorilla, you’re not done until the gorilla says you’re done.”
Yes this program takes time, but the results give me a life of peace. Peace with myself, peace with my Higher Power and peace with those around me. It is true what they say that we never graduate from this Twelve Step program. It is a design for living that works and as long as I’m living, I want to follow this design!
The Big Book of AA says: “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 85)
Today, I know, that I know, that I know, I am an addict. I will always need this Twelve Step program to guide me. There is no leaving it behind because I’m tired of doing it. Well, there is, but the gorilla is waiting and I truly don’t want to dance anymore!
Gratefully done dancing,
Nadine D. – Region One