As a compulsive overeater in recovery, I am reminded time and time again that I am without defense against that first bite. I am beyond human aid.

But, I can say, “I had that first bite if a binge food yesterday and it didn’t bother me, I didn’t even have the second bite.” Well, that’s the unpredictability of the allergy. You never know which way it’s going to go. It could be that tomorrow I say, “I had that bite yesterday and I was OK, let me have another bite today.” And then I’m off and running not to come up for air for hours, days, and for many of us, even longer.

I’m also thinking of the ways I try to protect myself from my addiction with my own brand of will-power that truly has no effect when it comes to conquering the obsession, I just like to believe it does. I am right there with what it says in chapter 3 of the Big Book. “Here are the things we have tried to control our drinking…

“Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning…” I could so add my particular brand of food into this list. My controlling it with my own willpower doesn’t work!

I have to be “inwardly reorganized”. My defense must come from a Higher Power. OA is a spiritual program. I’m so grateful it’s not a diet and calories club. I so want to be part of this fellowship, but what I really want is to be part of the solution. The solution is spiritual. So I will keep praying, asking my Higher Power, God, to show me the next right move and to help me not to forget who I am and who’s in control.
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Nadine D.
OA Region 1

​"We will no longer simply do what we feel like doing or what we think we can get away with. Instead, we will earnestly seek to learn God’s will for us, then we will act accordingly.”       Voices of Recovery, April 28th
 

Today I decided that I would write on whatever I read in Voices of Recovery, with the thought that it’s probably just what I need today.  
 
The writer talks about establishing an ongoing contract with her Higher Power after taking step 3.  She no longer does whatever she wants to do or eats whatever she wants to eat after entering into that contract. Before OA, I broke many contracts around food and relationships.  
 
Spending a lot of time around the house with social distancing has also meant more time around the food, yet my contract with my higher power remains the same:  I eat moderately at prescribed times and with substances that nourish my body.  Each morning, I ask my HP to direct my thinking, because without making that daily commitment, I will spend the day doing only what I feel like doing.  Because I know my HP wants the best for me, I am willing to keep that contract.

Cindy C.
Region 1

How do I keep my abstinence when everyone around me is eating so many things I’m “not supposed” to eat?  What about those food pushers?  “I made this just for you.  You have to try a little bit.” 
 
The Twelve Step program of Overeaters Anonymous tells me that my compulsion will be removed if I work the Steps and have a spiritual awakening which is sufficient to change me so that I no longer crave foods which are not good for me.  I have experienced this removal of the compulsion.  And the last several holiday seasons I have had no compulsions and no temptations.  Of course, over the years I have trained my family, so they don’t expect me to eat those things and they don’t push them on me.  I am grateful.
 
However, the first few holiday seasons I was in Overeaters Anonymous I was not free of the compulsion.  And sometimes it was very hard to stay out of the food.  I have found several things that work for me to help me keep my abstinence.  
 
First, I try to remember that my abstinence and my OA program are the things that help me have sanity and peace in my life.  I remind myself that really spending time with the people I love is much more important than the temporary high I get from the food.  I discovered that when I tell people I am allergic to certain foods, they want to know more about that and try to help by offering solutions to those things.  They keep asking questions and trying to talk me into things I know don’t work for me to eat.  I finally decided that simply saying one thing over and over works as well as anything.  I say “No, thank you” and indicate that I am full.  I can just keep saying “no thank you” over and over. 
 
Sometimes I just find some little kids and play with them; I can go for a walk and invite others to go; I can call someone (from the bathroom works well).  Sometimes I just pray or help with the dishes.  Another great trick is to help by passing out plates of the dessert--no one notices that I didn’t eat any when they see me with a plate of it in my hands. 
 
I read something this week that made lots of sense to me.  Someone shared that she tells people that she doesn’t eat foods that cause her to feel bad physically.  And she has found no one urging her to eat foods which make her feel sick.  (Those aren’t exactly the words she used but that was the idea). 
 
I need to remember how important my abstinence and sanity are to me every day one day at a time. 
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Happy Holidays to all,
Margie - Region 1

​“I’m just not willing…Please help!”  

Oddly enough, that has become one of my favorite prayers.  What are the things I need that prayer for in my program?

Should I give up bread?  Maybe my portions at dinner should be smaller, (but it takes that much to satisfy me, and I just don’t want to eat less). 

I struggle, I wrestle with the thoughts.  In complete honesty I say to my Higher Power, God, “Please help me in my unwillingness. I don’t think I’m willing to go deeper with trusting you.”

So I pray.  I spend time with God and keep being honest about how I’m feeling.

Suddenly, the thought crosses my mind, “Maybe I should try measuring a few things.” Nothing drastic, my oatmeal for breakfast, my serving of peanut butter, my salad dressing.  A new level of honesty, a new, different feeling of peace around food, and all of a sudden, I’m not eating as much bread and it’s completely OK with me. Getting honest with my food helps me get honest in other areas of my life as I watch in amazement as God does for me what I could never do myself.

I like this new level of honesty with God.  I don’t have to be afraid to express how I feel.  I don’t think God is surprised by it.  So, I discard the old thinking that I’m doing something wrong when I express the thoughts of unwillingness dancing in my head.

I grab hold of the principle of honesty, and I do the next right thing.

Nadine - Region 1