Change!   How I dislike that word — even when change is for the better.  "A place for everything and everything in its place, once and for all times" was the motto in my family home.  As an adult, change can be both exciting and terrifying at the same time.  I’m in the process of selling my home and buying a new place — the second down-size to make my physical living space smaller so that I can make my life bigger. 

So terrified —  will I be able to pack everything and be strong enough to handle the move?  Where will I put all this stuff?  I thought I had downsized when I moved six years ago!  What if my house doesn’t sell?  How will I afford two mortgages?  How soon do I have to be fully packed and ready to leave?  What if I’m still here and it starts snowing?  Yikes!!!

​And excited —  I love the open concept.  I love the sliding wood doors that can totally cover the sliding glass door.  I like the kitchen.  I like the light.  I like the cozy feel of the fireplace.  I love love love that I won’t have 14 steps to go up and down multiple times a day, especially when I’m carrying something heavy. 

But growing — in trust in my Higher Power and that my decisions are being guided by HP because I consult, pray, and listen each time a decision needs to be made.   I can’t count the number of times I have had to follow the instruction in the Big Book to "sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me.”  (Big Book, page 13)  

So many things can, and do, go wrong when one is making a big life change.  In the past, I’ve depended more on my common sense and knowledge, pro and con lists, and input from numerous friends and family when making life decisions/change.  Today, I have my Higher Power, my sponsor, and the unfailing program of Overeaters Anonymous to guide me and hold me up when terror changes to panic and cheer with me when excitement can’t be contained and needs to be shared.   I totally agree with another Big Book writer who said  "I’ve never had it so good.”  (Big Book, page 420).  

​Paula - Region One

This workshop was part of our 2020 OA Region One Convention on Zoom and included two speakers, a writing prompt with writing for ten minutes, sharing in small group breakout rooms, and sharing as a large group at the end of the workshop. For each question, participants were asked to put their “one thing” in the chat.  Here (with only minimal editing) are their responses to our three "Just One Thing" questions.
 

One thing I have done to bolster my recovery in 2020:

• Willingness to use Zoom
• Attended lots of different meetings across the country as we are able to attend meeting virtually.
• Went to an OA Rise meeting.
• honestly saying "I don't know" and being teachable
• I started a virtual meeting
• agreed to be a temporary sponsor, which opened a lot of doors
• "Balance" (more of it in life)
• studied the principle of the traditions once a month
• Doing Step 10 from Big Book - spot checking throughout the day, not just at night, I became aware of the sixth sense and intuition. This is the voice of HP.
• I make a choice everyday which road I am choosing to take 1/ the path to recovery abstinence living joyous and free or 2/ control, overeating, despair and suffering
• Setting Boundaries
• Getting a sponsor
• Attended Zoom meetings out of state.
• Making 3 or more outreach calls every day.
• Hosting virtual workshops
• began sponsoring
• Working the first 3 steps with sponsees.
• Learn to surrender to my Higher Power.
• More exercise. Discovering an online gym.
• Working with a sponsor to keep accountable so that I keep moving forward with my Ninth Step work
• Joined the Step 10/11 train which is a group of women who get paired up for two weeks and call each other with their inventories.
• Also to join Step 10/11 train, you can email 1011steptrain@gmail.com. There is an orientation meeting you'll need to attend first.
• listened to my instinct in asking for a particular person to be my sponsor.
• realizing I am a food addict and that changed everything
• Made a decision to live (a healthy life) rather than continue to compulsively overeat.
• Coming to this Convention.
• getting "back to basics" with my program...asking what wirjs? and doing that
• Acting on any small willingness that came to me
• Meditation walk daily
• Lots of shares about steps 10, 11 and 12
• Attend or facilitate a 12 Step workshop from the green workshop guide
• More service
• Started a Step Study using the 12 Step Study and Workshop
• Facilitated a Virtual Step Study using the 12 Step Workshop and Study guide of OA (Green spiral)
• Sponsoring a newcomer very different from me with food and HP issues
• Even with COVID, I can still attend my Yuma meeting and see my Yuma OA’ers even if I am not going this year.
• I took on new service position
• Worked the steps with my first ever step sister from 20+ years ago and together we used the green workshop book. It was amazing. I also started using a meditation app twice daily.
• 3 meals 1 day at a time with nothing but life in between. My choice is to be in recovery.
• acceptance of necessity of shutting down, vs winter travel to warm places, of needing to scale back on risky activities (mountain climbing, skydiving) that also help with weight maintenance, willingness to give up diagnosed food allergens, break with family of origin. Willingness, acceptance, surrender, life on life's terms... etc...

  
Just one thing I would say to a newcomer that might be helpful to them, OR one thing that really helped ME as a newcomer:

• wanna temporary sponsor?
• don't do this alone
• Welcome Home
• Go to as many meetings as possible.
• go to a Virtual newcomer meeting
• find a 12 day sponsor
• slow down and KISS! (Keep it Simple, Sweetie!)
• You're not alone, here's my number, keep coming back.
• This is an addiction and needs to be treated seriously.
• grab a sponsor guide
• Try at least 6 meetings
• listen for your story in others shares
• There is no one right way to do the program. Keep coming back until you find what works for you.
• it works if you work it
• ask for a glossary for all the acronyms
• Don't give up because the program doesn't make sense at first...keep going to meetings, get a sponsor who can guide you through it.
• Put yourself in the middle of the herd so that you create connections and break the isolation!
• Take what you want and leave the rest.....p.s. we do pick up more as we keeping coming back.
• Try the “New to OA” meeting every Saturday at 6PM through Oregon Intergroup.
• oa.org - find a virtual meeting
• Let go of defiance; and remember you have a choice; you don't HAVE to do anything; you are choosing to do this!
• you are welcome you are deserving you are special and you are not alone
• tradition 3, together we get better
• It's a we program!
• It's ODAT, I don't give up eating a certain food for the rest of my life, but for today, I choose not to eat it.
• let us love you  until you love yourself
• Here's my phone number, you're very welcome to call.
• Get a sponsor
• Keep a journal from day 1 to reflect on as you go through your program.
• the only way you fail is to leave
• OA is the "Good Clean Plate Program" at a buffet of ideas.  Take what you want, and leave the rest. However, you might consider taking what you need and leave the rest.
• know that you can't do it wrong ❤
• a desire to stop eating compulsively is the only requirement
• this is a rough time to join a fellowship. congratulations on your bravery. keep coming back.
• Ask someone if they would like a temp sponsor!  it helps!
• Give yourself some grace while learning the lingo and ask questions if you don't understand!
• A sponsor helps in working the 12 Steps and progressing in your recovery. It is okay to ask for a sponsor, even if you are new.
• bring your journal to meetings to take notes for recovery tips!
• Keep coming back and keep trying new things, even if abstinence eludes you.
• Join a Step Study Group
• life will change, the world will change, you will change over the long haul. but this can be the thread of your life....
• go to oaregion1.org/sponsorship.html to get a sponsor
• Ask someone to take you through the Newcomer's First 12 Days.  (Let newcomers know about this resource. 12 Days may seem do-able to a newcomer and make it easier to start.)

 
One thing I would like to commit to adding to my program for the rest of 2020:

• 30 meetings in 30 days....30 phone calls in 30 days...30 meditations in 30 days.  Set up a calendar for whatever you decide to do 30 days on!  Keep it Simple.  :)
• More meditation...walking meditation
• A E I O U 10th Step:   a = abstinence    e = exercise   I = what I did for myself   o = what did I do for others   u = what was uncomfortable (more classic 10th step)  (some people add “Y” for Yahoo’s/Gratitudes) to the above format
• Begin looking at the Principles of the Steps/Traditions/Concepts
• Go to a meeting in every state / every province / why not in other countries?
• Ask for willingness, then act on it as soon as it comes!
• look at my food plan.  Not perfection, but ask my sponsor if I can start committing my food.  Or, find a food plan partner.
• I felt JOY at the idea of attending meetings in other countries -- I'm going to start doing that!
• oa region 9 can take you to Europe meetings
• Make outreach calls on a weekly basis
• really committing to an action plan, including being more open to service.
• continue project -- catch myself in being negative toward myself. work on this and make more progress.
• start a daily practice that supports my well-being for the day -- commit to making this a more regular, daily thing each morning
• Have been working on my action plan.  Have made an action plan surrounding food plan, which helps me eat more regularly and on time. This helps me with daily routine.
• reach out to newcomers. call out and be humble and real
• Daily 3:00 tea time when depression sets in.
• I want to commit to loving myself fiercely for the rest of the year. Being kind to myself.
• Wake up and say I'm glad to be alive and today I'm going to be excited!
• I would tell newcomers that OA has taught me tons of new tools to live my life free of food addiction, obsession, and shame.
• So grateful for this experience. All the best to you for the next 24
• I love this banquet of ideas and the fact you set it up to record commitments in chat!!!

  
Thank you to everyone for your amazing shares!

One of my favorite quotes from our OA 12x12 (page 21) is:  “We ask, and we receive, first the willingness, and then the ability.” 
 
Willingness is the spiritual principle of Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” However, when researching the word willingness, it is found mostly in the third step.  In the AA 12x12 eight quotes are listed for Step Three and only one for Step Six.

Step Three embodies all the steps and as it says in the AA 12x12 on page 5, “Willingness is the key.”  When I am seeking to let go of a character defect, I must be willing to admit my powerlessness, and I must be willing to go to any lengths.
 
In Voices of Recovery there are 21 meditations that mention willingness; 13 in For Today; the Big Book has 11.
 
I have seen willingness work.  It is like the loom for the wool.  The steps don’t work for me unless I am willing.  One important thing for  me to remember is the adage: “act as if.” I had to be willing to do what I heard in meetings, even if I thought it wouldn’t work. 
 
I was willing to leave the room and pray when the craving was unbearable.  I would think, “I’ll do it, but THEN I’ll come back and eat it!” But the act of leaving the room and praying took the craving away!  I’d say, “Well just for today I won’t eat that, but tomorrow I WILL.” But tomorrow I didn’t want to because I felt the freedom and self-acceptance abstinence brings.
 
Today I am willing to take that next step in recovery.  I am willing to let go of fear and self-doubt.  Every step so far has granted me more serenity, courage, and wisdom.      
 
Higher Power, I am willing.
 
Lesley – Region One        

“I wish someone would give me advice about my problems,” one person from our Fellowship shared after a meeting.  Although I stumbled for a minute, as I knew that cross-talk was not allowed, I started to think about her question more.
 
Then I realized that there are ways in OA that we give a great deal of advice:

• We advise depending on God’s guidance
• We recommend reading OA literature
• We suggest you attend several meetings to see the many ways OA can help you
• We suggest using our nine tools of recovery to help guide you
• We advise you that a sponsor is a very helpful person to have in your life
• We suggest spiritual ways to find a new perspective and a new strength

 
There is so much guidance offered and wisdom in taking these actions.  I think the thing is that I have to be the one taking the action instead of waiting for the right words or right person to “fix” me.  As it says in For Today on page 277 about looking elsewhere for peace:
 
“‘I would if I could, my friend, but – as it is for me – the problem is within.’  It is not the weather, the dog, the neighbor, my house, my spouse, or lack of spouse, my job or lack of one; it is within me.
 
For today: I am completely honest in taking stock of myself so I can learn why I feel as I do about myself.”
 
Now that’s some good advice!
 
Gratefully,
Nadine D. – Region One

When I first attended a Twelve Step program, I quickly “did” all twelve steps in about a month.  That was expected. The Fifth Step, which I chose to do with my priest, was somewhat scary, but I continued on.  When I had completed Step Nine, I felt a great sense of burdens being removed. I joined other fellowships and worked through the steps similarly.
 
Approximately ten years after I first entered “the rooms,” I joined Overeaters Anonymous. I started the same way, not taking long to go through the first nine steps, then continuing to work 10, 11 and 12.  In OA I found that it is common to take the Fourth and Fifth Steps again regarding another person or a particular situation. I have gone through the steps several times in my OA life. 

I have thought of the Sixth and Seventh Steps as the “working steps” for my character defects, but I am beginning to realize I have neglected a wonderful gift in the Fifth Step. To write out a Fifth Step around a character defect, share with Higher Power and then with a sponsor or partner in recovery is truly working the program.  After all, the spiritual Principle of Step Five is integrity.  
 
As it says in For Today on November 3rd:  “I need not be afraid to admit anything to God and to another person, under God’s guidance.”
 
To continue to grow in recovery I need to use the Fifth Step, and I am grateful to do so!
 
Lesley – Region One

Lately it has been hard for me to get to meetings.  I love being able to go to a meeting without leaving my house, but sometimes sitting at my computer paying attention for an hour feels like more than I can do, and there often seems to be something else that needs done instead.  But, I know from past experience that not wanting to go to meetings is a “red flag” for me.

One of the advantages of having been in these rooms for years is that people notice when you aren’t showing up as often.  I’m grateful for OA friends who have called to say they’ve missed seeing me, and who have sent text messages saying "I hope to see you at the noon meeting today!"  They’ve helped me get back to where I hear the things I need to hear.

At one such meeting, we read a wonderful story titled “Power of Meetings” (Taste of Lifeline, pages 70-73).   The author shared about her first meeting, which changed her life, and said that meetings continue to be a foundation of her recovery.  This got me thinking about my own first meeting and what meetings have meant to me.  I realized that although “meetings” is technically just ONE of our Tools, they incorporate most of the other Tools as well. 

I attended my first meeting in 1993.  There was only one other person there, but this man put out the sign, led the meeting, shared his phone number, gave me a Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous), and reviewed the meeting directory with me.  That meeting got me started in OA and introduced me to literature and phone calls.  I also got to be honest about my crazy food and unmanageable life for the first time.  In 2021, I get to give back by helping ensure there is someone there to welcome others to their first meeting—on Zoom.

As I attended more meetings, I met my first sponsor.  That’s really the best place to meet sponsors, right?  When I started sponsoring others (my Step 12 foundation), I connected with those people because we were at the same meeting. Zoom meetings are where they keep the newcomers these days, and I’m grateful to be sponsoring two new people in the past year.

In my early days of program, when the “We Care” list went around the meeting, I wrote names and phone numbers inside the covers of my OA books.  Now my cell phone is chock-full of OA numbers…members I’ve met at both face-to-face and Zoom meetings.

I own just about every OA book published, but I certainly don’t read them all on my own.  On non-meeting days, I might not get around to reading at all.  We fumbled around a bit at first on Zoom, but meetings soon hit their stride and most have chosen one of our amazing, hope-filled books as their focus. 

My first service was setting out chairs at a face-to-face meeting.  Zoom meetings also need people to give service, and it is important for me to step up.  When I say yes to service in a Zoom meeting, it’s easier for me to stay present, and it’s good for me to know I am contributing to the well-being of the meeting.

Meetings are where I learned to listen and give other people my undivided attention, three minutes at a time, without giving advice.  It is a little harder in Zoom meetings, but I’ve found that leaving my video on helps me be accountable for being attentive, and taking notes helps if I'm having trouble staying focused.  When I do these things, I am much more likely to come away thinking “Wow! What a great meeting!”

These days, there are new voices sharing their stories of hope in our meetings—our “world-wide Fellowship” has become an everyday reality.  We’re connected in a way we were not before, and what a boon this must be for meetings in small towns everywhere!

Meetings have provided structure for me—an opportunity to “show up” on an ongoing basis.  I wasn’t happy to have the bottom fall out of that structure a year ago, but I am grateful we as a Fellowship made quick use of the tools at hand to make meetings available again.

I see my OA family at OA meetings.  As a person who (still!) has a tendency to drift toward isolation, the Fellowship is very important for me.  I need to show up and claim my seat (or at least my little square!) at meetings.  I am grateful to be able to do so.

See you on Zoom!  :)
 
​
Beverly M. – Region One 

Our Eleventh Step talks about prayer and meditation. Meditation continues to be a struggle for me. In many practices, one of the first instructions is to close your eyes. Because of my childhood trauma, the idea of closing my eyes doesn’t feel safe for me right now. I feel too exposed. Too vulnerable. I used to use this truth as a weapon against myself. “You think you’re recovered? You can’t even sit with your eyes closed. What kind of an example is that?!” the vicious voice of my disease chimes in at every opportunity.
 
It’s important to note that through working the Twelve Steps with a sponsor, and some outside help, I have experienced recovery beyond my wildest dreams. For the most part, I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I believe in my heart that my experiences can benefit others. I know a new freedom and happiness. I feel useful and I am confident in my abilities. I have talents to share.   So where is my freedom from fear of other people?
 
Program has taught me to accept myself unconditionally. I love and accept my body – a miracle for someone who has tried to starve herself to maintain someone else’s unattainable ideal. I love who I am as a person, another miracle for someone who did not believe she was worth the space she took up in the world. And, I have a self-preservation skill that, so far, I am unable to, and may never be able to, let go of. I have a strong connection to my Higher Power. I know with all of my being that HP is with me 24/7, showing me grace and direction. And still, my instinct, when I try to close my eyes to meditate, is to recoil as if from a hot flame. The miracle here is that I am not a lesser person because of it. I accept it, refuse to let the voice of my disease define me, and remain open to other ways to quiet my mind so I can hear HP’s will for me. Because that is what meditation is all about – strengthening our connection with a power greater than ourselves. How we get there doesn’t matter.
 
So, how do I meditate? I go for a walk. Because of my past, it took a lot of work to be able to walk by myself. I stay vigilant, and present, paying attention to everything that is happening around me. As I do, something amazing happens: my mind begins to clear and I hear and feel an amazing inner silence. An overwhelming sense of peace. I feel safe. And in that safety, a thought materializes that leads me to my next action. A plan forms and I can visualize the path ahead. Random thoughts start to connect and form a coherent picture in my head. As I embrace whatever was just revealed to me, I feel a deep sense of joy.
 
Does this happen every time I walk? Not hardly. As anyone with a meditation practice will tell you, reaching the stillness is not always possible every time you sit. But when it does happen, it is profound and I feel an unbreakable bond with my Higher Power.
 
When I am not able to walk and I am feeling restless, irritable and discontent, I have learned to doodle. I sit at my desk or dining room table with a blank piece of paper. In the middle of the paper I write a word. One that calls to me in the moment. Examples include Peace, Beauty, Loneliness or Heartbreak. I draw a circle or box around the word, and I start to create patterns. The patterns flow easily out of me and onto the paper as I concentrate on the word in the center. The goal again is to quiet the stories I am telling myself and find a calmness to replace the restlessness. I open my heart to HP’s message for me. If I can’t seem to find the flow, I surrender to the process and release each self-judgment as it appears. Like any new skill, it took some practice to let go of my expectations and be present during the doodle meditation.
 
The point is that however we choose to quiet our minds and open our heart to a power greater than ourselves, the only way we can do it wrong is to not do it at all.
 
Alice W. – Region One