My OA friend said, “I have an assignment from my sponsor.  Can you tell me about your Second Step experience?”  I didn’t have an immediate answer.
 
Later that week I was reading a wonderful story in the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition) titled “A Drunk, Like You.” On page 405 a spiritual awakening was discussed.  Aah!  My friend had been asking about my spiritual awakening!  In the story, the writer was disappointed that he hadn’t had a “more dramatic” spiritual awakening.
 
I was transported back to 1976, when I first entered the rooms of the 12 Steps at the tender age of 26. I had accompanied a friend who didn’t want to go alone.  I had been very depressed, but didn’t know that I was about to find the answer I needed. Walking into that room is something I’ll never forget.  It felt like walking into sunshine (and it was winter in Fairbanks, Alaska). I felt loved and accepted. And I kept coming back. That was my first spiritual awakening!
 
Jumping ahead to 1987. I was no longer a member of that first fellowship.  I was desperate to lose weight. I saw an ad for Overeaters Anonymous in the paper and wondered if it could be a Big Book fellowship. Their meeting was held fifteen minutes after I got off work and only three doors away, so I brought my Big Book and found that they were starting a Big Book study that night!  It was a renewal of my spiritual awakening.  Here was where I belonged!
 
Fast forward to 2009. We had moved and moved again. I had wandered away again. I had tried other methods of weight control.  Nothing worked. I got the bright idea of going to an Oregon OA retreat to get back on the wagon, but thought that afterward I wouldn’t have to attend meetings afterward—that I’d be able to do it by myself. But I discovered at the retreat that I love meetings!

Later that year we had to move again, back to my home town of Ketchikan to care for my mother.  I found an ad for OA in the paper, but when I went to the meeting no one else showed up.  I called the paper and was told the meeting wasn’t happening and they didn’t know how the ad had gotten back in the paper.  The time and place for a meeting were provided for me, and there were many weeks of just myself attending, but slowly a fellowship has grown around me.

I pray I have learned the lesson for good that this is where I belong and where I can stay spiritually awake, growing in recovery!
 
Lesley – Region One
 

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I was able to attend the OA Birthday Party this weekend and thought I'd share about two sessions which were particularly meaningful to me.
 
Pitfalls that Lead to Relapse
The speaker shared a list of 17 items she had identified that can lead to relapse (as found in OA/AA literature).  One of those pitfalls is not taking daily quiet time (Step 11), and I realized that my head says I'm too busy to take this time on a daily basis.  Oops!  I needed the reminder that I do better when I make Step 11 a daily practice.  That time with my HP means that I am more likely to surrender and turn to that source of power when I want to crumble or resist a big wave of emotion, new situation, fear, etc.  
 
Sober Eating
Speakers in this Sunday morning session shared about "sober eating" leading to true freedom from food obsession. Lately food has been a struggle for me.  Maybe it's time to look at the foods and behaviors that I play cat-and-mouse with, still wanting them to to "work" for me (Steps 1, 2 and 3).  As one of the speakers worked with a volunteer to write a "contract" around food choices and behaviors, I wrote one for myself.  I will share my "contract" with another compulsive overeater today and ask my HP to help me stick with that contract.  I do want that feeling of freedom from compulsive overeating.  I've always believed that the freedom from food comes from a life transformed through the Steps but am realizing that for me right now it's also adhering to a food plan and maintaining a strong abstinence when that spiritual condition sustains some cracks.  In the end, my job is to surrender and it's my HP's job to change my food and my life!
 
​
For those who missed the OA Birthday Party, I am sure that the recordings will be available soon.  Region One continues to add recordings from our November convention.  You'll find some wonderful speakers at https://www.oaregion1.org/audio--speakers.html.
 
Cindy C. - Region One 



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I tried to mend my broken heart by surrounding myself with stuff.
 
I tried to heal my childhood trauma by ignoring it and showing the world how unaffected I was. 
 
Look at my beautiful clothes, my impressive degree, my handsome husband, my beloved children.
 
I tried to follow the saying "Living well is the best revenge."
 
What I've learned is that revenge traps the anger in your heart and sucks the life from your soul. And it turned out that my version of living well was killing me from the inside out.
 
My drug of choice was food. I used it to punish myself for my mistakes. For not being able to meet my unrealistic expectations. And I also used it to keep the pain at bay. My behaviors around food—however destructive they appeared to the outside world—are what got me through each minute of every day. The world was a big and scary place that I desperately wanted to be a part of. I would do anything to appear like I had it all together so I could convince myself that I was ok.
 
The fact that my drug of choice was food is not really important. In different circumstances, it could have easily been cocaine or alcohol. For whatever reason, those never gave me the relief that purging or starving did. What matters is that I felt a deep sense of shame that could only be quieted by fully participating in my disease. (Before I got abstinent, I purged everything I ate and exercised 3-4 hours a day. The only way I knew to not purge was to not eat at all. Stimulants were my friends.)
 
Today, I am in the process of clearing out the wreckage of my past. That includes all of the stuff. I try to let go of the pain this stuff has caused my household. My inability to let go of toys as my kids outgrew them has created a mountain of memories and clutter. As I hold each item, I let the feelings rise and honor the tears of opportunities lost. I also let the joy rise as I remember the laughter of children at play.
 
I wanted the garage cleared out by the new year. Today is December 1st. I made progress over the summer, but have not made much effort since. I turned my focus to the basement, thinking I needed a break. Progress shows there as well, and more still needs to be done.
 
As I continue the work, I marvel at my willingness to face my stuff. All of my stuff. Not just the material clutter that keeps my family from enjoying the spaces in our home. I am also facing the stuff that lingers inside my heart. The heartbreak and grief that holds me back and keeps me stuck.
 
I hold each item, each thought, each idea, each belief that no longer serves me. I thank it for getting me through and I let it go.
 
The Twelve Steps contain all of the solutions I need to live an abstinent life. A life beyond misery. A life beyond my wildest dreams.
 
Alice W. – Region One



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Maybe it’s Covid, or the recent death of my dear sister-in-law, or taking on two service positions for the upcoming year, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Helen F. 

Helen was already a long-time member of OA when I joined in 1983.  She was one of the incorporators of our Intergroup in 1981, and I don’t think there was an intergroup position that she didn’t hold at one time or another.  Helen was all about service—with a capital S. 

​For years, she had a second telephone line in her home for the OA hot-line and never failed to take a call or return one, whether it was a newcomer or a current member who needed her. 

I remember one time, shopping at Costco and being totally overwhelmed by all the samples that demonstrators were urging me to try.  Like a beacon of light, I saw Helen and made a mad dash to get to her before she disappeared in the crowds.  That was Helen, an OA member who was calm and calming, a fount of OA knowledge and practical advice, a woman of great spiritual depth.  I could never count the number of times that Helen said “God will provide,” and he did, and I believed that he would because Helen said so. 

A member at a recent Intergroup meeting said that Service is gratitude in action.  I like that statement.  Helen was gratitude in action.  She gave her all for the Fellowship in sponsorship, meeting attendance, telephone outreach, taking on service positions—anything and everything that needed to be done. 

As Helen aged and was no longer able to give service, she still showed up at her committed meetings and Intergroup meetings.  Her calm, loving presence was Service. 

I still miss Helen, but am grateful for her and often when I’m feeling fear or anxiety and I open my mind for an intuitive thought, I can almost hear her voice telling me, “God will provide.”

 Paula Z. – Region One



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I was thinking about the actions I need to take in this program to stay “on the beam.”  For me, my continued recovery is all about taking the next right step.  Not the next 10 steps, not the whole path.  Not the Google map with the highlighted route, just the next step.

I’m so aware of the lies I can tell myself about which step to take.  These non-truths affect the decisions that I make.  They affect my next right move.

If this program is all about action, what am I doing?  I mean, there is an entire chapter in the Big Book that says “Into Action.”  Not “Into Thinking about it.”  Not “Resting on my laurels because I’m doing pretty good right now.”

There is magic in taking action.  To me, that is a code word for:

       Me Accepting God’s In Charge!

And yet, my thoughts will go to the place of, “I want to do what I’ve been doing, why do I have to keep doing more?”

Well, one thought I’m having is that I have been given this gift of recovery, and it says on page 132 of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous),”…we have been given the power to help others.”  Wow, what a super power that is!  I only get to have this power by continued work on the steps and taking the action as outlined in the Big Book.  This purpose, this amazing life that does not include binging and shame is a treasure that I want to share. Selfishly, I want to give it away so I can keep it.

Oh boy, I better get busy and take the next right step.  It’s so worth it!

Nadine D. - Region 1