Too much on my plate

When I first came to recovery, I had a fairly small and isolated life. I had had some “tough breaks.” Then I read on page 133 in the Big Book that “it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery…”

Once I started to see my part in this manufacturing of misery, that became the bad news and the good news. Bad at first to face that I was not this innocent victim to whom life happened. Good to realize I could avoid the deliberate manufacture of misery by practicing the steps: surrender, finding a power to help me, cleaning up the wreckage of my past and then enlarging my spiritual life. It took a while but
soon I had more on my plate in terms of things to do, places to go, people to see. 

Double booking started to happen, “biting off more than I could chew,” and soon the portions on my plate were starting to crowd into each other! This reminded me of my eating addiction, and now it was happening in my life. How to get right sized and find the balance is a new goal. I have to start taking things off my plate. 

I start in my mornings with the On Awakening prayer on Page 86 of the Big Book. We are told to “relax and take it easy.” An interpretation I like to read says, “These are instructions. I am enjoined not to be tense and fretful, not to rush, not to impose unnatural stresses, artificial timetables, and unnecessary goals on myself.” 

​So I need to abstain from rushing, imposing unnatural stresses on myself, artificial timelines and unnecessary goals. Being right-sized to me means not manufacturing my own misery by imposing unnatural stresses and unnecessary goals on myself.

Judy B., Treasurer