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BEING THE LIGHT FOR MY OWN RECOVERY

1/11/2021

2 Comments

 
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“But my darling, there’s no such thing as the light at the end of the tunnel, you must realize that you are the light.”  Anonymous
 
This always makes me feel so empowered.  It reminds me that I am in charge of my own recovery.
 
Light shines out of darkness.  When I first came to OA, I was in a very dark place.  I thought my problem was that I couldn’t stop eating at certain times. Over time I realized there was a much bigger reason why the food called to me.

  • Selfishness in so needing your approval to feel ok about who I was.
  • A tired, worn belief that my opinion didn’t matter.
  • An obsession with body size and weight that took up way too much space in my head.
 
It was hard for me to shine when I kept dumping darkness on myself.
 
When I saw people recovering in the rooms of OA, the first thing I noticed was that they looked “lighter.”
 
Could it be that when we have hope, coupled with a faith that works for us and an honest desire, with courage to talk with a sponsor, that our load is lightened and it shows up on our face? It seems to me as we rid ourselves of the darkness, the lightness of our heart can begin to glow.
 
You know, light only has one purpose…to shine!

May you be a shining example of recovery this year and may your glow help light the way for others seeking the peace found in O.A.
 
Nadine D.- Region One

 
 
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LETTING GO OF "STUFF"

1/5/2021

4 Comments

 
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I tried to mend my broken heart by surrounding myself with stuff.
 
I tried to heal my childhood trauma by ignoring it and showing the world how unaffected I was. 
 
Look at my beautiful clothes, my impressive degree, my handsome husband, my beloved children.
 
I tried to follow the saying "Living well is the best revenge."
 
What I've learned is that revenge traps the anger in your heart and sucks the life from your soul. And it turned out that my version of living well was killing me from the inside out.
 
My drug of choice was food. I used it to punish myself for my mistakes. For not being able to meet my unrealistic expectations. And I also used it to keep the pain at bay. My behaviors around food—however destructive they appeared to the outside world—are what got me through each minute of every day. The world was a big and scary place that I desperately wanted to be a part of. I would do anything to appear like I had it all together so I could convince myself that I was ok.
 
The fact that my drug of choice was food is not really important. In different circumstances, it could have easily been cocaine or alcohol. For whatever reason, those never gave me the relief that purging or starving did. What matters is that I felt a deep sense of shame that could only be quieted by fully participating in my disease. (Before I got abstinent, I purged everything I ate and exercised 3-4 hours a day. The only way I knew to not purge was to not eat at all. Stimulants were my friends.)
 
Today, I am in the process of clearing out the wreckage of my past. That includes all of the stuff. I try to let go of the pain this stuff has caused my household. My inability to let go of toys as my kids outgrew them has created a mountain of memories and clutter. As I hold each item, I let the feelings rise and honor the tears of opportunities lost. I also let the joy rise as I remember the laughter of children at play.
 
I wanted the garage cleared out by the new year. Today is December 1st. I made progress over the summer, but have not made much effort since. I turned my focus to the basement, thinking I needed a break. Progress shows there as well, and more still needs to be done.
 
As I continue the work, I marvel at my willingness to face my stuff. All of my stuff. Not just the material clutter that keeps my family from enjoying the spaces in our home. I am also facing the stuff that lingers inside my heart. The heartbreak and grief that holds me back and keeps me stuck.
 
I hold each item, each thought, each idea, each belief that no longer serves me. I thank it for getting me through and I let it go.
 
The Twelve Steps contain all of the solutions I need to live an abstinent life. A life beyond misery. A life beyond my wildest dreams.
 
Alice W. – Region One



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GRATITUDE IN ACTION:  REMEMBERING HELEN F.

11/23/2020

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Maybe it’s Covid, or the recent death of my dear sister-in-law, or taking on two service positions for the upcoming year, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Helen F. 

Helen was already a long-time member of OA when I joined in 1983.  She was one of the incorporators of our Intergroup in 1981, and I don’t think there was an intergroup position that she didn’t hold at one time or another.  Helen was all about service—with a capital S. 

​For years, she had a second telephone line in her home for the OA hot-line and never failed to take a call or return one, whether it was a newcomer or a current member who needed her. 


I remember one time, shopping at Costco and being totally overwhelmed by all the samples that demonstrators were urging me to try.  Like a beacon of light, I saw Helen and made a mad dash to get to her before she disappeared in the crowds.  That was Helen, an OA member who was calm and calming, a fount of OA knowledge and practical advice, a woman of great spiritual depth.  I could never count the number of times that Helen said “God will provide,” and he did, and I believed that he would because Helen said so. 

A member at a recent Intergroup meeting said that Service is gratitude in action.  I like that statement.  Helen was gratitude in action.  She gave her all for the Fellowship in sponsorship, meeting attendance, telephone outreach, taking on service positions—anything and everything that needed to be done. 

As Helen aged and was no longer able to give service, she still showed up at her committed meetings and Intergroup meetings.  Her calm, loving presence was Service. 

I still miss Helen, but am grateful for her and often when I’m feeling fear or anxiety and I open my mind for an intuitive thought, I can almost hear her voice telling me, “God will provide.”

 Paula Z. – Region One



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1 Comment

TRADITIONS & LITERATURE CHOICE AT OA MEETINGS

11/11/2020

1 Comment

 
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“Is this really an OA meeting?”

M. asked about a meeting which only used the AA Big Book and not any OA literature.  She was upset with the meeting and wondered if this was “really” an OA meeting since they didn’t use OA literature.  This is my response as a Trustee. 
 
M.,
 
To me this situation is a bit of a dilemma because the AA Big Book is in fact OA approved literature.  And I can sure understand why you are confused by the attitude of some of this group’s members.  I love the Big Book and its message has play a huge part in my recovery – but so have several of the OA books.   I particularly like the Overeaters Anonymous Third Edition.
 
In general, I love OA literature because I get to hear my story.  OA literature is written by compulsive eaters for compulsive eaters.  That being said, according to Tradition 4, “Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole.”  This gives each group the right and responsibility to operate as they see fit.  The OA 12 and 12 goes on to discuss some of the matters that do affect OA as a whole.  They include having another affiliation, ignoring one or more of the Traditions, depending on a handful of members for leadership instead of trusting the group conscience, limiting membership, promoting non-OA approved literature at meetings, focusing on topics not related to recovery, promoting outside enterprises and issues, breaking another members’ anonymity, accepting free service or rent from outside people or institutions or forgetting our primary purpose.
 
It is a break of OA Tradition to bring in outside literature.  The best way to handle that would be to speak up and simply say that it bothers you to have outside literature brought in – no matter what the outside stuff is. 
 
When I speak up about a Tradition break, I often come across much harsher than I mean to because it is so hard to speak against others when I am pretty sure they don’t agree.  I find that if I gently and say something like “Have you thought about this outside stuff being a break of Tradition?” Or simply and quietly stating that you object and not push the point. 
 
Even when I am right it does not convince others if I am too forceful – unfortunately I have done that several times.  OA is broad and inclusive as long as the group is using the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as the basis for the meeting.
 
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you.  You are welcome to contact me any time either through the Region One website or directly.
 
In love and service,
Margie – Region One

1 Comment

A LIST OF WORDS TO LIVE BY...

10/30/2020

1 Comment

 
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As I've trudged the Road of Happy Destiny, I've developed a list of words to live by. Through working the Twelve Steps, practicing these principles in all of my affairs, and giving away what was so freely given to me, I walk a spiritual path every day.
 
I work my program as if my life depends on it, because it does. This disease of mine, this addiction to self-loathing, almost killed me. It causes an obsession of the mind so strong that my symptoms took the form of self-starvation and purging everything I ate.

​The maintenance of a fit spiritual condition is the ONLY thing that worked for me. This list is the result of developing that fit spiritual condition, which I achieved through working all twelve Steps. It is evidence of the true miracle of this program. Before recovery, I was a frightened, wounded person who hid in plain sight. Now, I gladly follow the path of my Higher Power, who has led me to this marvelous way of life.
 
Do your work and you will find your list too. In the meantime, you can share mine with me.

  • Choose to be kind.
  • Stay open to all life has to offer.
  • Say yes to adventure.
  • Feel the fear and do it anyway. 
  • Always remember that you have something unique to offer the world. 
  • Believe you can make a difference and you will.
  • Live a life of integrity. 
  • Always speak your highest truth with love.
  • It works if you do the work.
  • Find joy in every day.
  • Keep coming back. 
 
Alice W. - Region One 

1 Comment

READING ALL TWELVE TRADITIONS

10/12/2020

1 Comment

 
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In the area where I live there is a practice in the meeting format which I disagree with--that is the practice of only reading one Tradition per meeting rather than reading all Twelve Traditions. 
 
The first thing I need to say is that this is NOT a practice which is against OA Traditions.   There is nothing in the Traditions which says anything about this issue.   Each meeting is autonomous and may choose which readings to read at each meeting. 
 
I really feel that it is much better for us as overeaters to hear both the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at every meeting.  We forget those things which work for us and hearing them read every week really strengthens our ability to remember them. 
 
I know when I was new and not feeling very strong in my abstinence, it was helpful for me to hear every week that the only requirement for membership was to have a desire to stop eating compulsively.    But if the people in my meeting only read that Tradition during one month of the year I might not have heard it, and may have given up on OA and on myself. 
 
And who can do without being reminded of Unity, no opinion on outside issues, that leaders do not get to govern, and that we need to be self-supporting?  We also need to hear that our Primary Purpose is to carry the message to others, about attraction rather than promotion, and that anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions. 
 
I really believe that we need to continue to read all our Traditions every week in every OA meeting.  But this is simply my opinion.  So please know that no one is doing it wrong if they do not agree. 
 
In love and service,
Margie G. - Region 1

1 Comment

AND NOW, FOR SOME GOOD NEWS!

9/26/2020

2 Comments

 
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I don't know about you, but I am experiencing some serious Covid fatigue. No movie premieres to attend, no soccer games to play or teams to coach, no dancing at the Crystal Ballroom. Life as I knew it has come to a screeching halt. But at least I could go outside and garden, take a walk, or go ride my bike. Then the wildfires hit. Now the air is hazardous to breathe. Friends are evacuated. Some will return to nothing. Others will not return at all. It just keeps piling on. And on top of all of this, the "regular" events of life continue. Conflicts with parents, spouses and children, cancer diagnosis, pets get sick and die. Make the mistake of watching the news, and it all just feels like too much!
 
So what's the good news you ask? The good news is that we have a solution! Even though life on life's terms seems like it has never EVER been harder for ANYONE EVER, program teaches me that life in recovery is an amazing adventure if I choose to see it that way.
 
All of the commotion that I thought made up a good life has fallen away and what is left are the people. Meaningful connection to my fellows is what all humans need to thrive and find joy. Program has given me a community of people who love me just for showing up. What an amazing gift!
 
Covid has made virtual meetings a way of life for many of us. I have met fellows from the UK, New York, Colorado, Australia, and Ireland that are an important part of my program. I have connected with so many anorexics and bulimics across the country that I finally feel like one of many in my recovery journey.
 
I continue to grow my spiritual program by taking the time to be still and let God heal my anxiety, fear, and grief. I am in complete surrender (most days) and let God guide my daily actions. I have found peace in the quiet spaces in between the chaos that my disease creates in my mind. Joy sprouts from this inner peace in surprisingly simple ways: the pleasure in a cup of tea sipped slowly as I watch a squirrel in my back yard, wondering how his day is going. Something I never would have taken time for pre-Covid. I was always too busy.
 
My hope for you is that you can savor the blessings of this time. Stay present in the day and look for the moments of joy that every day has to offer. They are there for us to behold, if we take the time to look for them.
 
 Alice - Region One

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