This guilt, this shame, over things I should have done better, or didn’t do, or something I said, or didn’t say.
How in the world did it sneak into my brain again?... Just when I was feeling pretty good about myself and my recovery.
I know my Higher Power, God, isn’t asking for perfection. But why can’t I just give myself a “B” and move on some days? Why are some of the most disparaging thoughts about who I am, seem to be on instant replay in my mind?
Well, that’s when I am reminded to go back to what I know works in my recovery. Back to the basics. It’s a great reminder that I need to lean into my Higher Power and focus on what is true. That is why I absolutely love the reading on January 19 in “For Today”:
“I have never seen a person grow or change in a constructive direction when motivated by guilt, shame and/or hate.” – William Goldberg
So for today: I let no one, including myself, try to shame me into changing something about myself I wish were different. I pray to be relieved of guilt and self-hate, and to accept and like myself exactly as I am. That is where I can begin to change.”
Now that is a prayer I’m going to attach to that lost puppy dog of guilt to overshadow whatever else it wants to bark at me. Thank you God for the truth that sets me free!
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