​As I sit here pondering what my experience, strength and hope looks like today it occurs to me that my recovery has come in increments. If I look at just today or yesterday it might not seem like much to my mind – a mind that miraculously has so much more room to ponder and to reflect than ever before. Because before I walked into OA I only had time to worry, dread and avoid the past, present and future - by binge eating, watching tv, and making commitments I couldn’t keep. I was stuck in that same cycle day in and day out due the shame and guilt of not being able to show up for life the way I thought I saw other people doing it – with ease and joy. How did they do it?

What I’ve learned is that I am a sugar addict - my drug is sugar. I have a physical allergy and a mental obsession that no amount of willpower can remedy. If I could have, I would have – I’ve heard and said that many times over the years. Oh! But what I would have missed out on….

My experience with God has evolved steadily over the years, but often in fits and starts, bits and pieces, sometimes with great joy and other times half-heartedly – wondering if I’m on the right path. I’ve come to learn I’m a seeker; and with that comes the ups and downs of letting go of old thoughts and ideas and trying on new ones. My concept of God has evolved and continues to evolve from an entity outside of me to that still, small voice I’ve come to know is my intuition. My intuition was always something I thought I couldn’t or shouldn’t trust. Hadn’t it always told me food was the answer?

What I’ve learned is that I wasn’t hearing that still, small voice but the part of my brain that only knew how to handle life with sugar and bingeing. It was always so loud! How could hear anything else? I’d never learned how to listen.

When I started working the steps in the Big Book with a sponsor I describe it as learning how to grow up and become an adult – an adult I could rely on. I learned how to show up, tell the truth and not step all over people to get what I needed. I learned how to ask for help and be of service. All I wanted when I showed up was to be thin and have you like me. I had no idea how little I was asking. The gift of growing up has been miraculous.  Little by slowly I’m being guided by God, our steps, traditions and principles and the recovery I see every day in our fellowship.

Recovery has been of the educational variety for me – I consider myself a seeker of spiritual growth. The deeper my connection with my HP – the more easeful and relaxed my recovery becomes every day.  

Erin F. - Region One

​My journey to a lasting abstinence was a long one. At times it felt desperate and fleeting. Yet I perservered. With the help of a Step Sponsor, a power greater than myself, and the Fellowship, last month I celebrated 27 years of abstinence from bulimia, a disease that to this day wants to destroy me. 

I spent 19 1/2 years of my life actively participating in my disease. Bingeing, purging, starving, over exercising, pills, laxatives, powders, eating only one food, and so many other compulsive behaviors were all part of the insanity of my disease--a disease which had me convinced that the ONLY way to keep the demons away and stay in control was to listen to it. There was no room for anything else or anyone else. 

When I first attended meetings regularly, I was desperate to stop. And on the days I attended a meeting I did stop. The hope and welcome I felt in the rooms kept me going for 24 hours. On the days I missed a meeting, the bulimia was back with a vengeance. Where had been my resolve? I worked up to six meetings a week. And still--no meeting, no lasting abstinence. I was not free. 

Then I finally hit the bottom I needed to work the Steps. After TWO years of attending meetings and white-knuckling it from one meeting to the next, I got a sponsor and started working the program, the 12 Steps. I wanted what she had and was willing to go to any lengths to recover. I followed directions and did the work. Some of it was heartbreaking, some of it was eye-opening, and some of it was pure joy. Most of all, it was life saving, life affirming and a reason to rejoice, for I had truly found a new way of living and a life I had never dared to imagine for myself. A life free from the grips of a disease that continues to try to regain control and one that I have no doubt will destroy me if I do not work my program on a daily basis. 

Program has taught me that I am not cured. What I have is a daily reprieve based on my spiritual condition. This spiritually fit condition did not come easily to me. I struggled with putting trust in my Higher Power. The six months prior to finding lasting abstinence were in program while I was working the steps. As I worked through them the first time and continued steps 1-3 and 10-12 on a daily basis, my trust in HP grew until I was finally able to turn to HP instead of the bulimia for direction in every single aspect of my life. I didn't force it or make a vow. I took the next inspired action, turned to HP in moments of panic or indecision, one day at a time. Truthfully, at times it was one moment at a time. 

Life has not been all sunshine and roses. And that is okay because the worst day in recovery is glorious compared to my best day when my disease ruled my life. 

Now, almost thirty years later, I put one foot in front of the other, trusting God, cleaning house, and serving others. And I find myself truly free. 

Alice W.
​Region One

I have been blessed with nearly 13 months of a pretty easy abstinence. But in the last few weeks, the food has been "on my back," or rather, on my mind. Am I spiritually unfit? Have I been skipping too many meetings, or not doing service? Am I not praying hard enough?

Sometimes my brain forgets that I’m an addict, and thinks that if I just did more, or was smarter, things will go my way. But now I don’t think the answer is to try harder. My will power can only do so much, and I am completely powerless over food. There is one who has all power, and that one is my HP.

Sometimes my HP speaks through other people, such as my sponsor, who reminded me that I have been experimenting with a zero calorie sugar substitute. It is much sweeter than table sugar, but it has no carbohydrates, calories, or artificial ingredients.

​No calories! Sounds great to me! So much so that I have added this ingredient to my daily tea, or twice daily tea, or five times a day tea…and more tea.

Yes, I am an addict. If it tastes sweet, I want it, and I crave more, and more, and more. So for my next experiment, I have stopped using the sweetener for the past six days, with the hope that being off of it will eventually stop my food cravings. So far I’ve observed that I’m not enjoying my tea as much, and the food cravings are still there. This is an awkward time.

What am I doing to stay abstinent? There’s no magic formula. I make outreach calls. I go to meetings. I talk with my sponsor, and with my sponsee. I ask my HP to let me be of service. I’m writing a guest blog. I pray a lot, asking my HP for relief from the cravings, asking for the gift of abstinence one minute at a time. So far, I continue to get the gift of imperfect abstinence, and I am grateful.

I wish I could say that the cravings are gone, but they are not yet. But the OA fellowship is here, meetings are here, the phone is here, and my HP is here. I am not alone. And for the moment, while writing this blog, the food is not on my back. I am grateful for that, for my HP, and for all of you who are on this journey with me.
​
DJR - Guest Blogger - Oregon

​The holidays can easily morph into "holidaze" without careful thought. The slogans from our OA program can be just the tool we need to survive and thrive on those special days.

For example, a slogan I hear at meetings around Thanksgiving is “it is only Thursday.” I find this useful when I get carried away with obsessive thoughts about what I will serve or what I will eat. My distorted thinking gets me into this trap.  Where do I get the idea that a certain food can only be prepared at this certain time of year and because of that I need to eat as much of it as I can because after all I won’t get it again for another year?

“One day at a time” helps ease me through the holiday preparations. As I plan out what I will do in preparation each day before the holiday I don’t have to do it all in one or two days and end up too exhausted to even enjoy the festivities.

“This too shall pass” serves me well when holiday expectations far exceed their reality. Combined with “it’s just another day,” I have proven winners for this time of great expectations.

When tempted with holiday treats I can remember “nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels.” I can ask myself questions about what the consequences might be for eating a certain item.  For example, how would I feel physically if I ate it? Perhaps the answer would be sluggish or stuffed.  How would I feel emotionally? Perhaps guilty, shameful or defeated. How would I feel spiritually? Perhaps disconnected from my Higher Power as I had committed not to do this.

What slogan would help YOU through this time of year when in the month of December alone there are at least 14 different holidays? Add your thoughts in the comment section to encourage another compulsive eater.

Jan E. - Oregon Intergroup
Guest Blogger

This workshop was part of our 2020 OA Region One Convention on Zoom and included two speakers, a writing prompt with writing for ten minutes, sharing in small group breakout rooms, and sharing as a large group at the end of the workshop. For each question, participants were asked to put their “one thing” in the chat.  Here (with only minimal editing) are their responses to our three "Just One Thing" questions.
 

One thing I have done to bolster my recovery in 2020:

• Willingness to use Zoom
• Attended lots of different meetings across the country as we are able to attend meeting virtually.
• Went to an OA Rise meeting.
• honestly saying "I don't know" and being teachable
• I started a virtual meeting
• agreed to be a temporary sponsor, which opened a lot of doors
• "Balance" (more of it in life)
• studied the principle of the traditions once a month
• Doing Step 10 from Big Book - spot checking throughout the day, not just at night, I became aware of the sixth sense and intuition. This is the voice of HP.
• I make a choice everyday which road I am choosing to take 1/ the path to recovery abstinence living joyous and free or 2/ control, overeating, despair and suffering
• Setting Boundaries
• Getting a sponsor
• Attended Zoom meetings out of state.
• Making 3 or more outreach calls every day.
• Hosting virtual workshops
• began sponsoring
• Working the first 3 steps with sponsees.
• Learn to surrender to my Higher Power.
• More exercise. Discovering an online gym.
• Working with a sponsor to keep accountable so that I keep moving forward with my Ninth Step work
• Joined the Step 10/11 train which is a group of women who get paired up for two weeks and call each other with their inventories.
• Also to join Step 10/11 train, you can email 1011steptrain@gmail.com. There is an orientation meeting you'll need to attend first.
• listened to my instinct in asking for a particular person to be my sponsor.
• realizing I am a food addict and that changed everything
• Made a decision to live (a healthy life) rather than continue to compulsively overeat.
• Coming to this Convention.
• getting "back to basics" with my program...asking what wirjs? and doing that
• Acting on any small willingness that came to me
• Meditation walk daily
• Lots of shares about steps 10, 11 and 12
• Attend or facilitate a 12 Step workshop from the green workshop guide
• More service
• Started a Step Study using the 12 Step Study and Workshop
• Facilitated a Virtual Step Study using the 12 Step Workshop and Study guide of OA (Green spiral)
• Sponsoring a newcomer very different from me with food and HP issues
• Even with COVID, I can still attend my Yuma meeting and see my Yuma OA’ers even if I am not going this year.
• I took on new service position
• Worked the steps with my first ever step sister from 20+ years ago and together we used the green workshop book. It was amazing. I also started using a meditation app twice daily.
• 3 meals 1 day at a time with nothing but life in between. My choice is to be in recovery.
• acceptance of necessity of shutting down, vs winter travel to warm places, of needing to scale back on risky activities (mountain climbing, skydiving) that also help with weight maintenance, willingness to give up diagnosed food allergens, break with family of origin. Willingness, acceptance, surrender, life on life's terms... etc...

  
Just one thing I would say to a newcomer that might be helpful to them, OR one thing that really helped ME as a newcomer:

• wanna temporary sponsor?
• don't do this alone
• Welcome Home
• Go to as many meetings as possible.
• go to a Virtual newcomer meeting
• find a 12 day sponsor
• slow down and KISS! (Keep it Simple, Sweetie!)
• You're not alone, here's my number, keep coming back.
• This is an addiction and needs to be treated seriously.
• grab a sponsor guide
• Try at least 6 meetings
• listen for your story in others shares
• There is no one right way to do the program. Keep coming back until you find what works for you.
• it works if you work it
• ask for a glossary for all the acronyms
• Don't give up because the program doesn't make sense at first...keep going to meetings, get a sponsor who can guide you through it.
• Put yourself in the middle of the herd so that you create connections and break the isolation!
• Take what you want and leave the rest.....p.s. we do pick up more as we keeping coming back.
• Try the “New to OA” meeting every Saturday at 6PM through Oregon Intergroup.
• oa.org - find a virtual meeting
• Let go of defiance; and remember you have a choice; you don't HAVE to do anything; you are choosing to do this!
• you are welcome you are deserving you are special and you are not alone
• tradition 3, together we get better
• It's a we program!
• It's ODAT, I don't give up eating a certain food for the rest of my life, but for today, I choose not to eat it.
• let us love you  until you love yourself
• Here's my phone number, you're very welcome to call.
• Get a sponsor
• Keep a journal from day 1 to reflect on as you go through your program.
• the only way you fail is to leave
• OA is the "Good Clean Plate Program" at a buffet of ideas.  Take what you want, and leave the rest. However, you might consider taking what you need and leave the rest.
• know that you can't do it wrong ❤
• a desire to stop eating compulsively is the only requirement
• this is a rough time to join a fellowship. congratulations on your bravery. keep coming back.
• Ask someone if they would like a temp sponsor!  it helps!
• Give yourself some grace while learning the lingo and ask questions if you don't understand!
• A sponsor helps in working the 12 Steps and progressing in your recovery. It is okay to ask for a sponsor, even if you are new.
• bring your journal to meetings to take notes for recovery tips!
• Keep coming back and keep trying new things, even if abstinence eludes you.
• Join a Step Study Group
• life will change, the world will change, you will change over the long haul. but this can be the thread of your life....
• go to oaregion1.org/sponsorship.html to get a sponsor
• Ask someone to take you through the Newcomer's First 12 Days.  (Let newcomers know about this resource. 12 Days may seem do-able to a newcomer and make it easier to start.)

 
One thing I would like to commit to adding to my program for the rest of 2020:

• 30 meetings in 30 days....30 phone calls in 30 days...30 meditations in 30 days.  Set up a calendar for whatever you decide to do 30 days on!  Keep it Simple.  :)
• More meditation...walking meditation
• A E I O U 10th Step:   a = abstinence    e = exercise   I = what I did for myself   o = what did I do for others   u = what was uncomfortable (more classic 10th step)  (some people add “Y” for Yahoo’s/Gratitudes) to the above format
• Begin looking at the Principles of the Steps/Traditions/Concepts
• Go to a meeting in every state / every province / why not in other countries?
• Ask for willingness, then act on it as soon as it comes!
• look at my food plan.  Not perfection, but ask my sponsor if I can start committing my food.  Or, find a food plan partner.
• I felt JOY at the idea of attending meetings in other countries -- I'm going to start doing that!
• oa region 9 can take you to Europe meetings
• Make outreach calls on a weekly basis
• really committing to an action plan, including being more open to service.
• continue project -- catch myself in being negative toward myself. work on this and make more progress.
• start a daily practice that supports my well-being for the day -- commit to making this a more regular, daily thing each morning
• Have been working on my action plan.  Have made an action plan surrounding food plan, which helps me eat more regularly and on time. This helps me with daily routine.
• reach out to newcomers. call out and be humble and real
• Daily 3:00 tea time when depression sets in.
• I want to commit to loving myself fiercely for the rest of the year. Being kind to myself.
• Wake up and say I'm glad to be alive and today I'm going to be excited!
• I would tell newcomers that OA has taught me tons of new tools to live my life free of food addiction, obsession, and shame.
• So grateful for this experience. All the best to you for the next 24
• I love this banquet of ideas and the fact you set it up to record commitments in chat!!!

  
Thank you to everyone for your amazing shares!

When I first attended a Twelve Step program, I quickly “did” all twelve steps in about a month.  That was expected. The Fifth Step, which I chose to do with my priest, was somewhat scary, but I continued on.  When I had completed Step Nine, I felt a great sense of burdens being removed. I joined other fellowships and worked through the steps similarly.
 
Approximately ten years after I first entered “the rooms,” I joined Overeaters Anonymous. I started the same way, not taking long to go through the first nine steps, then continuing to work 10, 11 and 12.  In OA I found that it is common to take the Fourth and Fifth Steps again regarding another person or a particular situation. I have gone through the steps several times in my OA life. 

I have thought of the Sixth and Seventh Steps as the “working steps” for my character defects, but I am beginning to realize I have neglected a wonderful gift in the Fifth Step. To write out a Fifth Step around a character defect, share with Higher Power and then with a sponsor or partner in recovery is truly working the program.  After all, the spiritual Principle of Step Five is integrity.  
 
As it says in For Today on November 3rd:  “I need not be afraid to admit anything to God and to another person, under God’s guidance.”
 
To continue to grow in recovery I need to use the Fifth Step, and I am grateful to do so!
 
Lesley – Region One