​“I think I’m doing pretty darn good in this OA program.  I don’t think about food very much anymore.  I go to meetings and try to be of service.  My clothes are fitting quite nicely, thank you very much.  I think I’m going to take a break from all this OA busyness.  Thank you OA, but I’ve got it from here.”
 
Oh, aren’t those words I’ve thought about saying more than once?  When can I stop doing this?  It takes so much time and effort and don’t you know that I really am starting to like myself now?  I’ve got all the information I need to set me on the right path.  Off I go….
 
Wow! For me, that type of thinking is indicative of the lies I tell myself.
 
What I know to be true is that the night I believed the lies that “I’m ok now, I’m at a normal body weight so it won’t matter and I just want it!” was the night my food addiction came waltzing right back in.  Waltzing like a gorilla, that is.  It picked me up and threw me down, and you know what they say, “When you’re dancing with a gorilla, you’re not done until the gorilla says you’re done.”
 
Yes this program takes time, but the results give me a life of peace. Peace with myself, peace with my Higher Power and peace with those around me.  It is true what they say that we never graduate from this Twelve Step program.  It is a design for living that works and as long as I’m living, I want to follow this design!
 
The Big Book of AA says:  “We are not cured of alcoholism.  What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 85)
 
Today, I know, that I know, that I know, I am an addict.  I will always need this Twelve Step program to guide me.  There is no leaving it behind because I’m tired of doing it. Well, there is, but the gorilla is waiting and I truly don’t want to dance anymore!
 
Gratefully done dancing,
 
Nadine D. – Region One

Lately it has been hard for me to get to meetings.  I love being able to go to a meeting without leaving my house, but sometimes sitting at my computer paying attention for an hour feels like more than I can do, and there often seems to be something else that needs done instead.  But, I know from past experience that not wanting to go to meetings is a “red flag” for me.

One of the advantages of having been in these rooms for years is that people notice when you aren’t showing up as often.  I’m grateful for OA friends who have called to say they’ve missed seeing me, and who have sent text messages saying "I hope to see you at the noon meeting today!"  They’ve helped me get back to where I hear the things I need to hear.

At one such meeting, we read a wonderful story titled “Power of Meetings” (Taste of Lifeline, pages 70-73).   The author shared about her first meeting, which changed her life, and said that meetings continue to be a foundation of her recovery.  This got me thinking about my own first meeting and what meetings have meant to me.  I realized that although “meetings” is technically just ONE of our Tools, they incorporate most of the other Tools as well. 

I attended my first meeting in 1993.  There was only one other person there, but this man put out the sign, led the meeting, shared his phone number, gave me a Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous), and reviewed the meeting directory with me.  That meeting got me started in OA and introduced me to literature and phone calls.  I also got to be honest about my crazy food and unmanageable life for the first time.  In 2021, I get to give back by helping ensure there is someone there to welcome others to their first meeting—on Zoom.

As I attended more meetings, I met my first sponsor.  That’s really the best place to meet sponsors, right?  When I started sponsoring others (my Step 12 foundation), I connected with those people because we were at the same meeting. Zoom meetings are where they keep the newcomers these days, and I’m grateful to be sponsoring two new people in the past year.

In my early days of program, when the “We Care” list went around the meeting, I wrote names and phone numbers inside the covers of my OA books.  Now my cell phone is chock-full of OA numbers…members I’ve met at both face-to-face and Zoom meetings.

I own just about every OA book published, but I certainly don’t read them all on my own.  On non-meeting days, I might not get around to reading at all.  We fumbled around a bit at first on Zoom, but meetings soon hit their stride and most have chosen one of our amazing, hope-filled books as their focus. 

My first service was setting out chairs at a face-to-face meeting.  Zoom meetings also need people to give service, and it is important for me to step up.  When I say yes to service in a Zoom meeting, it’s easier for me to stay present, and it’s good for me to know I am contributing to the well-being of the meeting.

Meetings are where I learned to listen and give other people my undivided attention, three minutes at a time, without giving advice.  It is a little harder in Zoom meetings, but I’ve found that leaving my video on helps me be accountable for being attentive, and taking notes helps if I'm having trouble staying focused.  When I do these things, I am much more likely to come away thinking “Wow! What a great meeting!”

These days, there are new voices sharing their stories of hope in our meetings—our “world-wide Fellowship” has become an everyday reality.  We’re connected in a way we were not before, and what a boon this must be for meetings in small towns everywhere!

Meetings have provided structure for me—an opportunity to “show up” on an ongoing basis.  I wasn’t happy to have the bottom fall out of that structure a year ago, but I am grateful we as a Fellowship made quick use of the tools at hand to make meetings available again.

I see my OA family at OA meetings.  As a person who (still!) has a tendency to drift toward isolation, the Fellowship is very important for me.  I need to show up and claim my seat (or at least my little square!) at meetings.  I am grateful to be able to do so.

See you on Zoom!  :)
 
​
Beverly M. – Region One 

Maybe it’s Covid, or the recent death of my dear sister-in-law, or taking on two service positions for the upcoming year, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Helen F. 

Helen was already a long-time member of OA when I joined in 1983.  She was one of the incorporators of our Intergroup in 1981, and I don’t think there was an intergroup position that she didn’t hold at one time or another.  Helen was all about service—with a capital S. 

​For years, she had a second telephone line in her home for the OA hot-line and never failed to take a call or return one, whether it was a newcomer or a current member who needed her. 

I remember one time, shopping at Costco and being totally overwhelmed by all the samples that demonstrators were urging me to try.  Like a beacon of light, I saw Helen and made a mad dash to get to her before she disappeared in the crowds.  That was Helen, an OA member who was calm and calming, a fount of OA knowledge and practical advice, a woman of great spiritual depth.  I could never count the number of times that Helen said “God will provide,” and he did, and I believed that he would because Helen said so. 

A member at a recent Intergroup meeting said that Service is gratitude in action.  I like that statement.  Helen was gratitude in action.  She gave her all for the Fellowship in sponsorship, meeting attendance, telephone outreach, taking on service positions—anything and everything that needed to be done. 

As Helen aged and was no longer able to give service, she still showed up at her committed meetings and Intergroup meetings.  Her calm, loving presence was Service. 

I still miss Helen, but am grateful for her and often when I’m feeling fear or anxiety and I open my mind for an intuitive thought, I can almost hear her voice telling me, “God will provide.”

 Paula Z. – Region One



PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE LAST NAME IN BLOG POST COMMENTS.

As I've trudged the Road of Happy Destiny, I've developed a list of words to live by. Through working the Twelve Steps, practicing these principles in all of my affairs, and giving away what was so freely given to me, I walk a spiritual path every day.
 
I work my program as if my life depends on it, because it does. This disease of mine, this addiction to self-loathing, almost killed me. It causes an obsession of the mind so strong that my symptoms took the form of self-starvation and purging everything I ate.

​The maintenance of a fit spiritual condition is the ONLY thing that worked for me. This list is the result of developing that fit spiritual condition, which I achieved through working all twelve Steps. It is evidence of the true miracle of this program. Before recovery, I was a frightened, wounded person who hid in plain sight. Now, I gladly follow the path of my Higher Power, who has led me to this marvelous way of life.
 
Do your work and you will find your list too. In the meantime, you can share mine with me.

• Choose to be kind.
• Stay open to all life has to offer.
• Say yes to adventure.
• Feel the fear and do it anyway. 
• Always remember that you have something unique to offer the world. 
• Believe you can make a difference and you will.
• Live a life of integrity. 
• Always speak your highest truth with love.
• It works if you do the work.
• Find joy in every day.
• Keep coming back. 

 
Alice W. - Region One 

I don't know about you, but I am experiencing some serious Covid fatigue. No movie premieres to attend, no soccer games to play or teams to coach, no dancing at the Crystal Ballroom. Life as I knew it has come to a screeching halt. But at least I could go outside and garden, take a walk, or go ride my bike. Then the wildfires hit. Now the air is hazardous to breathe. Friends are evacuated. Some will return to nothing. Others will not return at all. It just keeps piling on. And on top of all of this, the "regular" events of life continue. Conflicts with parents, spouses and children, cancer diagnosis, pets get sick and die. Make the mistake of watching the news, and it all just feels like too much!
 
So what's the good news you ask? The good news is that we have a solution! Even though life on life's terms seems like it has never EVER been harder for ANYONE EVER, program teaches me that life in recovery is an amazing adventure if I choose to see it that way.
 
All of the commotion that I thought made up a good life has fallen away and what is left are the people. Meaningful connection to my fellows is what all humans need to thrive and find joy. Program has given me a community of people who love me just for showing up. What an amazing gift!
 
Covid has made virtual meetings a way of life for many of us. I have met fellows from the UK, New York, Colorado, Australia, and Ireland that are an important part of my program. I have connected with so many anorexics and bulimics across the country that I finally feel like one of many in my recovery journey.
 
I continue to grow my spiritual program by taking the time to be still and let God heal my anxiety, fear, and grief. I am in complete surrender (most days) and let God guide my daily actions. I have found peace in the quiet spaces in between the chaos that my disease creates in my mind. Joy sprouts from this inner peace in surprisingly simple ways: the pleasure in a cup of tea sipped slowly as I watch a squirrel in my back yard, wondering how his day is going. Something I never would have taken time for pre-Covid. I was always too busy.
 
My hope for you is that you can savor the blessings of this time. Stay present in the day and look for the moments of joy that every day has to offer. They are there for us to behold, if we take the time to look for them.
 
 Alice - Region One

Rather than focus on the uncertainty we are all facing, I have tried to find the small blessings in these days of Covid quarantine. One major, unexpected blessing is the extended fellowship I have found by attending
the many Zoom meetings that are only available due to the quarantine.
 
One of these meetings offers members time to read affirmations and I wanted to pass these along to all of you.
 
When I first came into program, my sponsor had me look at myself in the mirror and say affirmations out loud to my reflection. This practice has helped me tremendously with self-acceptance. I hope this daily practice will help you too.
 
Alice W. - Region 1
 
AFFIRMATIONS*
 
BODY

• I can leave my body up to my higher power.
• I love _________ (name a part of your body.)
• My body is exactly the way it should be today.
• I refrain from abusing my body.
• My body has its own strength and grace.
• My body is beautiful and I will love and nurture it.
• My smile accentuates the beauty of my face.
• I enjoy feeling myself in my body.
• I accept and love my feminine aspects.
• My weight does not matter for today.
• I will not starve just for today.
• My higher power would not expect me to get less than I deserve in food, exercise, and other forms of body care.

 
SELF

• I am learning to refrain from self-criticism.
• I can depend on my higher power to help me with self-esteem.
• I accept and embrace myself.
• I have been blessed with many talents.
• I choose to look at the beauty life has to offer.
• I am full of joy and happiness.
• I am worthy and deserving of care and attention.
• I am a caring person and loved by many.
• I embrace change effortlessly.
• I can use the steps to rid myself of guilt and self-abuse.
• I accept my emotions and allow them creative expression.
• I am free to be a creative joyful being.
• My life force flows in balance with all things.
• I claim the deepest wisdom of my being.
• My higher power would not expect me to get less than I deserve in self-love and self-care.

 
SEX & RELATED ISSUES

• I bless and celebrate the feminine way of being.
• I give only when my cup overflows.
• I release sexual guilt and celebrate my sexuality.
• I do not fake my sexual responses.
• I own my sexuality.
• I own my body.
• I have healthy sexual boundaries.
• I can depend on my higher power to help with my sexual boundaries.

 
*These affirmations are from a Women's Self, Sexuality, & Body Issues OA meeting. Feel free to change any wording to suit your situation.

“Repetition is the only form of permanence the nature can achieve.”  Voices of Recovery, April 2
​
I read this with a sponsee this morning.  The reading talks about the loss of HOPE, and how hard doing all those little things that recovery requires seems when you don’t have hope that anything will get better.  And how freeing those little things can become when you do have hope.  The quote itself reminds me that I need to keep doing those little things when they seem easy and when they seem hard. 

I have been in OA for over 40 years, but I have only 18 years of abstinence.  I have had years and years of up and down abstinence and relapse.  I always believed that the OA program worked and therefore I never left.  But I was sometimes convinced that I would never be able to turn to my HP enough to maintain those little actions on an ongoing basis.  I kept hoping that I could get away with not doing all that work.  Hoping that the extra food I put in my mouth wouldn’t be a problem...but it always made things worse and never better. 

I never stopped going to meetings and I kept trying to gain enough of that “secret” thing that would make the difference to keep me abstinent.  And I tried to keep doing those little things that I knew made things better-- writing, doing 12 Steps, working with a sponsor, making calls, writing down my food. 

Then one day a smart-a** newcomer arrived.  She got into program quickly and started sponsoring a bunch of people.  One day she asked me “Margie, when are you going to get abstinent?”  I realized that even though I didn’t really like her program (she was very focused on weight loss) she was actually doing MUCH better than I was.  So, I was willing to have her temporarily sponsor me.  I said, “I am willing to do everything that you are doing today. I may not be willing to do it tomorrow, but I am willing today!” And I did that.

I was not willing to do it her way for very long--maybe a month.  It was enough to get me started.  I have continued to do those little things that keep me grounded even in this strange time of isolation.

These days, I am very grateful for virtual meetings via various video apps and for phone calls.  I am grateful for walks with my dog and sunshine and spring flowers.  I am grateful for three meals a day with nothing in-between, day after day.  I am grateful for my quiet time in the mornings and my sponsor who is willing to take phone calls five days a week; I normally only call once weekly.  I started doing meditation about two years ago and it is vital to me now. I am very grateful that I don’t HAVE to do things rigidly or perfectly.

As I repeatedly do things they have become a permanent part of me and my recovery.

Margie - Region 1