​
I am blessed to have freedom from food obsession.  My recovery is such a miracle and I cherish every abstinent day as a true gift.  I work the steps.  I pick up the tools.  I do service.  And I am so grateful that I will never progress beyond being human. 
 
I wanted to write about something that has really been bugging me for over a year for our Board blog today.  If you know me, you know that much of my life outside of recovery is all about dogs!  What I’ve been struggling with is how I can make amends to my beloved dog Harlow that I lost last year.  I know Harlow doesn’t mind that relieved her from the suffering of cancer, but it’s been plaguing me.  It is not well with my soul.  The regret I feel from letting her go sooner, rather than later, is taking up too much space in a not good, unhealthy way in my being.  I need to write a blog for the Board, so why not write about this?  I am certain another member may benefit from my processing this out loud with our fellowship.
 
Harlow was never a healthy dog.  Back in 2010, I was her fifth home in her first seven months of life.  She was a difficult dog to say the least.  It took her a year to trust me fully, no matter how many times I tried to show her and tell her that she had won the lottery when I found her.  Harlow had found her home with me, and she was never going to need to find another.  The year before I had to put her down, she was very sick with a horrible skin infection.  I tried many different treatments, and finally found one that worked, but she was probably sick ten out of the twelve months in 2020. 
 
Nevertheless, even with her history, it was a terrible surprise to come home from a wonderful birthday trip to find her not being able to get up.  She seemed to be in a great deal of pain internally when we tried to assist her.  After many hours we managed to get her in to the veterinarian, many tests were run and then we had to wait for results.  The next day, although wobbly, she was able to get up, and able to walk.  She was on some pretty heavy-duty medications and they seemed to be working.
 
When the test results showed she had cancer, because of this wonderful Fellowship and program, I could handle such devastating news with dignity and grace.  I asked my Higher Power, and all of you, to help me to accept this horrible thing that I could not change.  My husband and I discussed for days at length our options, my concerns, and most importantly, what we felt was best for Harlow.
 
This blog is not about the loss of my beloved pet.  It’s about how our program helps us in life because it’s been my experience, even in recovery, life keeps happening!  And I need help with all of life’s happenings if I am to stay abstinent and in recovery.  I gladly live life differently, on life’s terms, and not on my self will run riot.  Before recovery life’s happenings were unmanageable.  The only coping mechanism I had was to overeat, eat compulsively, bite off people’s heads, and be just a miserable person to be around.  I made the decision to let Harlow go because I could not stand to watch her suffer.  Whatever cancer she had was eating her sustenance as she was wasting away quickly right before our eyes no matter how much food I gave her.  She was ravenous and eating constantly but losing what seemed to be at least a pound a day.  I couldn’t have my sweet girl suffer, and honestly, I was afraid I would be alone, too, the next time she couldn’t get up.
 
When I finally noticed just how much I was very NOT at peace, even a year after she was gone, I could finally hear my Higher Power suggesting that I work this out so that I can be free from the bondage of regret.  It did not matter that every other person who knew Harlow told me I did the right thing by letting her go.  My addict brain keeps telling me that I was a coward.  That I chose the easy way out for me.  I should have taken better care of her and let her stay longer.  My dis-ease is alive and well and wants to hold me hostage in the bondage of regret. 
 
My recovery is strong, my Higher Power is stronger, and I have tools to combat the negative self-talk.  I can share this struggle at meetings.  I can work this out in the steps.  I can discuss this with my sponsor, and my counselor.  I can write a blog about it.  When I use the tools of our program, this lie loses its power, until I can sit in the truth.  The truth is, I loved my girl Harlow.  I am not a coward.  I am brave and I found the courage to do the hard, right thing.  I cry now as I sit here and type this, and I can feel the love, understanding and peace of our program growing in me, one day at a time.
 
Thanks for letting me share. 

Laurie A. - Region One

​Before I came into OA, I had no hope.  I also had no self-esteem, no self-worth, nor any real purpose or drive.  I had no idea I had a disease or that I was a compulsive eater.  I loved learning why I couldn’t “will” myself to be different.  I have loved learning to develop a power greater than myself that helps me to have freedom from food compulsion.  I rely on this power, who I choose to call my Higher Power, to get me through each day in a way so much different than I could have ever imagined. 
 
I often say at meetings that what keeps me coming back is all these character defects. I am never going to get over them, and I need to use all the tools every day to manage them.  But I’ve learned that’s not entirely true.  I keep coming back because in our fellowship is where I have hope.  Every day, going to meetings, picking up our literature, developing my food plan, doing my nightly inventory--these are the things my hope is derived from.  I know now that if I do today what I did yesterday I will continue to stay abstinent and continue to like myself.  Abstinence is the root of my recovery.  Without it, I am running on self-will run riot.  I am miserable and afraid and hopeless.
 
I keep coming back because I have hope to keep getting better.  I have hope to NOT rely on those nasty character defects to get me through situations, but to rely fully on a power greater than myself to get me through everything.  And if I need an audible connection, I have hope that I’ll make a reach-out call and allow my Higher Power to speak through you, one of my amazing fellows.
 
Hope has inspired me to be of service.  Carrying the message of recovery, working with rescue dogs and their organizations, and volunteering to help protect our public lands and waters is very rewarding, uplifting and energizing.  You could say that being of service has built up my self-esteem.  Being of service, believe it or not, has also taught me self-care.  Or was that my Higher Power...? 😊
 
Being kind and tolerant of those I don’t agree with is a miracle of our program.  I have experience and hope that when I work with my Higher Power, I can accept people, places and things I could never have imagined.  It feels good to be kind in those difficult moments.  I have hope that I will grow in those moments!  All I need to do is to rely on a power greater than myself. 
 
One of my favorite things I've learned recently is that if I stay in the hope, I stay out of the fear.  Much in the same way that if I stay in the gratitude, I stay out of the negative thoughts.  I have hope that I can choose recovery.  And when I am weak, I have you all, always.  You are all just a phone call or text away.  I know you will listen.  I have hope you’ll understand.  I am amazed at the love and peace I can find in our program and in our fellowship.
 
This hope isn’t a flimsy reed.  From the Big Book (page 28) “What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, 'a design for living' that really works.”  

​I am willing to go to any lengths to keep this hope, my abstinence and sanity.  Oh gosh, the sanity, that’s a whole other blog!  My recovery gives me hope and let that be the message I carry today and always.  There is hope for the still suffering compulsive overeater.  It works, if we work it, and we’re worth it!
 
Thanks for reading and allowing me to be of service.  Much love to you.
 
Laurie A. - Region One

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.  It works when other activities fail.” So begins Chapter 7 “Working with Others” in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, p. 89. 

In 2015, I was recuperating at home from major surgery and could not go to the Portland OA meetings I usually attended.  My OA meetings, then, transitioned to phone meetings.  I heard a speaker talk about her recovery through applying the instructions found in the Big Book.   I called the speaker and asked her to guide and sponsor me through the Big Book.   Why not try it?  Nothing else was working for me.  She agreed.  One of the most important principles she continuously impressed upon me was service.

At first, service was just to keep me from compulsive overeating.  In working all of the Steps, my sponsor told me what Dr. Bob wrote on his prescription pad:  "trust God, clean house, help others."  A six-word synopsis of what I needed to do to become happy, joyous and free.

I started reaching out to newcomers I heard share at phone meetings.  I started to sponsor according to the Big Book instructions.  And I offered myself for outreach calls to any member who wanted to chat.

But sometimes there are no new sponsees or outreach calls.  Or if I make a call and ask “how are you?” the other party may be just fine and really doesn’t need any help from me.

So I had to expand my definition of “service.”  It wasn’t just for OA members.  It had to expand to every single person that showed up in my life: sponsees and outreach callers, for sure.  But I added friends, family, strangers, drivers, cashiers, waiters and waitresses---in other words, everyone to whom I could add an instant of joy.   My job was to be of service to absolutely everyone.

Here’s the miracle of that:  while I first started to do service to insure my abstinence, now (six years later), I actually WANT to do service for others. I WANT to make their lives a little cheerier by a kind word or gesture.  I WANT to brighten someone else’s day.  And the by-product of my desire is a fairly easy, smooth, and effective abstinence and food plan, not to mention healed relationships, peace of mind, weight loss, building of self-esteem, etc.

A couple of years ago I added something to serving others.  In 2017, I started leaving small gifts, such as Dollar Tree pencils with a reindeer motif, with tips at restaurants.  I gave them to the cashiers at McDonald’s, gas station attendants, my pharmacist, the receptionist at my dentist’s office.  Anyone doing service for others would get a little treat from me. And I soon added an inexpensive something to every other holiday during the year.  I just wanted to give that other person a smile:  a heart-shaped candy at Valentine’s Day, fun stickers for Independence Day or Thanksgiving.    

You’d think I gave these random people gold nuggets.  They smile, they say “thank you,” some say “you’ve made my day.”  Even the grumpiest lighten up a bit.  But I don’t do any of this to get a “thank you.”   NONE of this simple giving has anything to do with me.  But it sure has everything to do with my abstinence, my self-esteem, and my relationship with my Higher Power.

And that’s the gift I give myself.  It works when other activities fail.

Happy Holidays, my fellows.  And happiness throughout the coming year!

Anonymous
Guest Blogger

The holidays can be troublesome for me, not because of the sweets and tempting goodies--those I know to stay away from!  For me the challenge is the parade of food that gets displayed intermittently, especially at a pot luck or buffet.

Serve me food on a plate and I know what to eat, but serve it to me piecemeal and my brain starts to chatter. My disease rears it ugly head and starts calculating what I've eaten, what I can still eat,  how many calories I ate before this was served, and is that on my food plan, is that part of my meal...?

Although I  survive, it's not without a great deal of discomfort and "dodging bullets." That is not serenity. I like to eat so I hear god, not so I hear my brain chatter.  

For me, a "Done" Buddy helps. When I have eaten my meal (protein, veggies, fruit, and sometimes a starch), having someone in program to call or text to tell them I am "done" is a life saver. Sometimes getting a "done" text from them can even help me when I might be in negotiation with myself. "The thought crossed my mind..." Being a "Done" buddy helps us both. 

I used to have a "Done" Buddy every night so that when dinner was over and I had my fruit, I would text "done." End of story. Nothing more passes these lips, except a good night kiss from my husband.  They would in turn text me "done" and we knew that there was someone else out there calling the meal "done."

This kind of support is what fellowship is all about.  I highly recommend whether you are a newcomer or an old-timer, finding a holiday "done" buddy is an easy and wonderful way to do service. And of course, when all else fails, pray!

Jacquie E. - Central Oregon Intergroup
Guest Blogger

Thank you for my recovery. I owe my life to you, the twelve-step program of Overeaters Anonymous, and my Higher Power.

I thank my Higher Power every day for this amazing life that has unfolded before me. I thank the program by working the steps, practicing these principles in all of my affairs and stepping up for service whenever I hear the soft whisper of my Higher Power.

It first started as my heart pounding during a meeting, which my sponsor said was HP prompting me to share. Then no one was willing to take the key for the meeting that I desperately needed. (Remember when we all met in person?) That was HP creating the willingness to do a little bit more. Thank you for being the kind and loving sponsor that my HP knew I needed to work the Steps.
 
HP spoke through a newcomer who saw something in me that she wanted, so I started to sponsor. I was slowly led to take on more and more responsibility with each new service opportunity. HP used all of you to show me that I am someone who is trustworthy and to challenge me to grow.
 
Thank you for showing up. Thank you for greeting me at the door as if I was a dear friend and asking me my name. Thank you for asking me to read the promises from the Big Book, a reading that I had never heard before that touched my heart as if it was written just for me. Thank you for asking me to make coffee and heat the water for tea.

Thank you for taking the time to tell me to be gentle with myself after I shared about a disappointing misstep. Thank you for calling me when I stopped showing up to my regular meeting. Thank you for asking me to speak at your meeting. Thank you for asking me to be your sponsor. Thank you for asking me to represent our meeting at Intergroup. Thank you for attending Intergroup! And Region One Assembly. And WSBC.
 
Thank you – all of you – for loving me until I could love myself; for believing in my abilities when I thought I had none. For sticking with me when I was sure my way was the path I needed to be on. I would not be alive today if you had not been in my life.

​When you chose to attend the meeting instead of isolating, you helped me. When you made that outreach call, you helped me. When you planned that OA event, you furthered my recovery. When you shared your heart and your truth, you helped me open my heart and speak my truth. When you showed me your imperfections, you gave me the courage to share mine and know that I am still loved.
 
I have no doubt whatsoever that OA saved my life. This fellowship. Each and every one of you, regardless of where you are in your own recovery journey, have the power to save a life. Thank you for saving mine.
 
Alice W. - Region One

This workshop was part of our 2020 OA Region One Convention on Zoom and included two speakers, a writing prompt with writing for ten minutes, sharing in small group breakout rooms, and sharing as a large group at the end of the workshop. For each question, participants were asked to put their “one thing” in the chat.  Here (with only minimal editing) are their responses to our three "Just One Thing" questions.
 

One thing I have done to bolster my recovery in 2020:

• Willingness to use Zoom
• Attended lots of different meetings across the country as we are able to attend meeting virtually.
• Went to an OA Rise meeting.
• honestly saying "I don't know" and being teachable
• I started a virtual meeting
• agreed to be a temporary sponsor, which opened a lot of doors
• "Balance" (more of it in life)
• studied the principle of the traditions once a month
• Doing Step 10 from Big Book - spot checking throughout the day, not just at night, I became aware of the sixth sense and intuition. This is the voice of HP.
• I make a choice everyday which road I am choosing to take 1/ the path to recovery abstinence living joyous and free or 2/ control, overeating, despair and suffering
• Setting Boundaries
• Getting a sponsor
• Attended Zoom meetings out of state.
• Making 3 or more outreach calls every day.
• Hosting virtual workshops
• began sponsoring
• Working the first 3 steps with sponsees.
• Learn to surrender to my Higher Power.
• More exercise. Discovering an online gym.
• Working with a sponsor to keep accountable so that I keep moving forward with my Ninth Step work
• Joined the Step 10/11 train which is a group of women who get paired up for two weeks and call each other with their inventories.
• Also to join Step 10/11 train, you can email 1011steptrain@gmail.com. There is an orientation meeting you'll need to attend first.
• listened to my instinct in asking for a particular person to be my sponsor.
• realizing I am a food addict and that changed everything
• Made a decision to live (a healthy life) rather than continue to compulsively overeat.
• Coming to this Convention.
• getting "back to basics" with my program...asking what wirjs? and doing that
• Acting on any small willingness that came to me
• Meditation walk daily
• Lots of shares about steps 10, 11 and 12
• Attend or facilitate a 12 Step workshop from the green workshop guide
• More service
• Started a Step Study using the 12 Step Study and Workshop
• Facilitated a Virtual Step Study using the 12 Step Workshop and Study guide of OA (Green spiral)
• Sponsoring a newcomer very different from me with food and HP issues
• Even with COVID, I can still attend my Yuma meeting and see my Yuma OA’ers even if I am not going this year.
• I took on new service position
• Worked the steps with my first ever step sister from 20+ years ago and together we used the green workshop book. It was amazing. I also started using a meditation app twice daily.
• 3 meals 1 day at a time with nothing but life in between. My choice is to be in recovery.
• acceptance of necessity of shutting down, vs winter travel to warm places, of needing to scale back on risky activities (mountain climbing, skydiving) that also help with weight maintenance, willingness to give up diagnosed food allergens, break with family of origin. Willingness, acceptance, surrender, life on life's terms... etc...

  
Just one thing I would say to a newcomer that might be helpful to them, OR one thing that really helped ME as a newcomer:

• wanna temporary sponsor?
• don't do this alone
• Welcome Home
• Go to as many meetings as possible.
• go to a Virtual newcomer meeting
• find a 12 day sponsor
• slow down and KISS! (Keep it Simple, Sweetie!)
• You're not alone, here's my number, keep coming back.
• This is an addiction and needs to be treated seriously.
• grab a sponsor guide
• Try at least 6 meetings
• listen for your story in others shares
• There is no one right way to do the program. Keep coming back until you find what works for you.
• it works if you work it
• ask for a glossary for all the acronyms
• Don't give up because the program doesn't make sense at first...keep going to meetings, get a sponsor who can guide you through it.
• Put yourself in the middle of the herd so that you create connections and break the isolation!
• Take what you want and leave the rest.....p.s. we do pick up more as we keeping coming back.
• Try the “New to OA” meeting every Saturday at 6PM through Oregon Intergroup.
• oa.org - find a virtual meeting
• Let go of defiance; and remember you have a choice; you don't HAVE to do anything; you are choosing to do this!
• you are welcome you are deserving you are special and you are not alone
• tradition 3, together we get better
• It's a we program!
• It's ODAT, I don't give up eating a certain food for the rest of my life, but for today, I choose not to eat it.
• let us love you  until you love yourself
• Here's my phone number, you're very welcome to call.
• Get a sponsor
• Keep a journal from day 1 to reflect on as you go through your program.
• the only way you fail is to leave
• OA is the "Good Clean Plate Program" at a buffet of ideas.  Take what you want, and leave the rest. However, you might consider taking what you need and leave the rest.
• know that you can't do it wrong ❤
• a desire to stop eating compulsively is the only requirement
• this is a rough time to join a fellowship. congratulations on your bravery. keep coming back.
• Ask someone if they would like a temp sponsor!  it helps!
• Give yourself some grace while learning the lingo and ask questions if you don't understand!
• A sponsor helps in working the 12 Steps and progressing in your recovery. It is okay to ask for a sponsor, even if you are new.
• bring your journal to meetings to take notes for recovery tips!
• Keep coming back and keep trying new things, even if abstinence eludes you.
• Join a Step Study Group
• life will change, the world will change, you will change over the long haul. but this can be the thread of your life....
• go to oaregion1.org/sponsorship.html to get a sponsor
• Ask someone to take you through the Newcomer's First 12 Days.  (Let newcomers know about this resource. 12 Days may seem do-able to a newcomer and make it easier to start.)

 
One thing I would like to commit to adding to my program for the rest of 2020:

• 30 meetings in 30 days....30 phone calls in 30 days...30 meditations in 30 days.  Set up a calendar for whatever you decide to do 30 days on!  Keep it Simple.  :)
• More meditation...walking meditation
• A E I O U 10th Step:   a = abstinence    e = exercise   I = what I did for myself   o = what did I do for others   u = what was uncomfortable (more classic 10th step)  (some people add “Y” for Yahoo’s/Gratitudes) to the above format
• Begin looking at the Principles of the Steps/Traditions/Concepts
• Go to a meeting in every state / every province / why not in other countries?
• Ask for willingness, then act on it as soon as it comes!
• look at my food plan.  Not perfection, but ask my sponsor if I can start committing my food.  Or, find a food plan partner.
• I felt JOY at the idea of attending meetings in other countries -- I'm going to start doing that!
• oa region 9 can take you to Europe meetings
• Make outreach calls on a weekly basis
• really committing to an action plan, including being more open to service.
• continue project -- catch myself in being negative toward myself. work on this and make more progress.
• start a daily practice that supports my well-being for the day -- commit to making this a more regular, daily thing each morning
• Have been working on my action plan.  Have made an action plan surrounding food plan, which helps me eat more regularly and on time. This helps me with daily routine.
• reach out to newcomers. call out and be humble and real
• Daily 3:00 tea time when depression sets in.
• I want to commit to loving myself fiercely for the rest of the year. Being kind to myself.
• Wake up and say I'm glad to be alive and today I'm going to be excited!
• I would tell newcomers that OA has taught me tons of new tools to live my life free of food addiction, obsession, and shame.
• So grateful for this experience. All the best to you for the next 24
• I love this banquet of ideas and the fact you set it up to record commitments in chat!!!

  
Thank you to everyone for your amazing shares!

Lately it has been hard for me to get to meetings.  I love being able to go to a meeting without leaving my house, but sometimes sitting at my computer paying attention for an hour feels like more than I can do, and there often seems to be something else that needs done instead.  But, I know from past experience that not wanting to go to meetings is a “red flag” for me.

One of the advantages of having been in these rooms for years is that people notice when you aren’t showing up as often.  I’m grateful for OA friends who have called to say they’ve missed seeing me, and who have sent text messages saying "I hope to see you at the noon meeting today!"  They’ve helped me get back to where I hear the things I need to hear.

At one such meeting, we read a wonderful story titled “Power of Meetings” (Taste of Lifeline, pages 70-73).   The author shared about her first meeting, which changed her life, and said that meetings continue to be a foundation of her recovery.  This got me thinking about my own first meeting and what meetings have meant to me.  I realized that although “meetings” is technically just ONE of our Tools, they incorporate most of the other Tools as well. 

I attended my first meeting in 1993.  There was only one other person there, but this man put out the sign, led the meeting, shared his phone number, gave me a Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous), and reviewed the meeting directory with me.  That meeting got me started in OA and introduced me to literature and phone calls.  I also got to be honest about my crazy food and unmanageable life for the first time.  In 2021, I get to give back by helping ensure there is someone there to welcome others to their first meeting—on Zoom.

As I attended more meetings, I met my first sponsor.  That’s really the best place to meet sponsors, right?  When I started sponsoring others (my Step 12 foundation), I connected with those people because we were at the same meeting. Zoom meetings are where they keep the newcomers these days, and I’m grateful to be sponsoring two new people in the past year.

In my early days of program, when the “We Care” list went around the meeting, I wrote names and phone numbers inside the covers of my OA books.  Now my cell phone is chock-full of OA numbers…members I’ve met at both face-to-face and Zoom meetings.

I own just about every OA book published, but I certainly don’t read them all on my own.  On non-meeting days, I might not get around to reading at all.  We fumbled around a bit at first on Zoom, but meetings soon hit their stride and most have chosen one of our amazing, hope-filled books as their focus. 

My first service was setting out chairs at a face-to-face meeting.  Zoom meetings also need people to give service, and it is important for me to step up.  When I say yes to service in a Zoom meeting, it’s easier for me to stay present, and it’s good for me to know I am contributing to the well-being of the meeting.

Meetings are where I learned to listen and give other people my undivided attention, three minutes at a time, without giving advice.  It is a little harder in Zoom meetings, but I’ve found that leaving my video on helps me be accountable for being attentive, and taking notes helps if I'm having trouble staying focused.  When I do these things, I am much more likely to come away thinking “Wow! What a great meeting!”

These days, there are new voices sharing their stories of hope in our meetings—our “world-wide Fellowship” has become an everyday reality.  We’re connected in a way we were not before, and what a boon this must be for meetings in small towns everywhere!

Meetings have provided structure for me—an opportunity to “show up” on an ongoing basis.  I wasn’t happy to have the bottom fall out of that structure a year ago, but I am grateful we as a Fellowship made quick use of the tools at hand to make meetings available again.

I see my OA family at OA meetings.  As a person who (still!) has a tendency to drift toward isolation, the Fellowship is very important for me.  I need to show up and claim my seat (or at least my little square!) at meetings.  I am grateful to be able to do so.

See you on Zoom!  :)
 
​
Beverly M. – Region One