Hi, I'm Sheila and I'm a compulsive overeater.

The holidays are here, along with the potential for weeks of overindulging, overspending, and unmet expectations. Keeping my abstinence and serenity during this time of festive stress is a full time job, but I don't have to do it alone.

I can ask my higher power to grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I am powerless over the changing of the seasons, but I can change how I react to them.

I can have courage to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.

I can actively seek ways to help others and be of service.

I can stay honest in my expectations.

By working steps 10, 11, and 12 daily, I can be free to enjoy the festivities.

I can gift those around me with patience, tolerance, kindness and love.

I can ask for the gift of willingness for myself -- willingness to grow in wisdom day by day.
​
Sheila B.
Guest Blogger

Even after over 25 years in OA, having worked the steps many times, and having reached a healthy body weight, I struggled with loathing my body. I hated parts of my body. Not all of it. I liked my hair, my eyes, my lips. I valued and accepted my strong arms, legs, and back. I despised, however, my squishy stomach, muffin top, and bulbous underarm boobs. No matter how thin I got, I needed to lose just a little more weight. Maybe if I did, these troublesome bits of me would melt away.

A few years later, my weight had crept up, despite the fact that my believed my food was in order.  I had regained 38 of the 98 pounds I had lost.  As I looked back on photos of myself at my lowest weight, it dawned on me that even then I had hated these parts of my physical self. My change in weight, whether up or down, did not change my perception or attitude.

I immediately was given an insight from my HP: this issue was not about my body. It was about my perception and attitude. I knew in my heart that I would always find myself unacceptable until I chose in my heart of hearts to accept and love myself just as I am. When I turned 55, I looked back wistfully at how I looked at 40. I suddenly knew that I would do the same thing when I turn 70, looking back at my 55-year-old self. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Since then, with the help of my sponsor and my higher power, I have focused on being mindful about how I choose to think of my body, being aware of the words I use to describe how I feel about my physical self. I will not tolerate any negative energy directed by me at my body. My attitude has changed. I still have a squishy stomach, muffin top, and underarm boobs. I don’t (yet) love them. But I don’t hate them either. They just are. I am a package deal. Thanks to this program, I like me as I am today.

Anonymous 
Guest Blogger

OA offers me a different way to live, if I choose. 

It gives me a response to things that "go wrong" (according to me) and allows me to realize that changing others is not my responsibility or obligation. 

What a relief!  All I have to work on is controlling my reaction to what is happening.  This is a LOT less work than trying to "fix" things for others. 

Things happen on HP's timeline.  Things always work out in the end, if they have not worked out yet, it is not the end.

Terri R. - Central Oregon Intergroup
​Guest Blogger

One of my favorite quotes from our OA 12x12 (page 21) is:  “We ask, and we receive, first the willingness, and then the ability.” 
 
Willingness is the spiritual principle of Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” However, when researching the word willingness, it is found mostly in the third step.  In the AA 12x12 eight quotes are listed for Step Three and only one for Step Six.

Step Three embodies all the steps and as it says in the AA 12x12 on page 5, “Willingness is the key.”  When I am seeking to let go of a character defect, I must be willing to admit my powerlessness, and I must be willing to go to any lengths.
 
In Voices of Recovery there are 21 meditations that mention willingness; 13 in For Today; the Big Book has 11.
 
I have seen willingness work.  It is like the loom for the wool.  The steps don’t work for me unless I am willing.  One important thing for  me to remember is the adage: “act as if.” I had to be willing to do what I heard in meetings, even if I thought it wouldn’t work. 
 
I was willing to leave the room and pray when the craving was unbearable.  I would think, “I’ll do it, but THEN I’ll come back and eat it!” But the act of leaving the room and praying took the craving away!  I’d say, “Well just for today I won’t eat that, but tomorrow I WILL.” But tomorrow I didn’t want to because I felt the freedom and self-acceptance abstinence brings.
 
Today I am willing to take that next step in recovery.  I am willing to let go of fear and self-doubt.  Every step so far has granted me more serenity, courage, and wisdom.      
 
Higher Power, I am willing.
 
Lesley – Region One        

In Step One of the OA 12&12 (The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous) it talks about believing my weight was the cause of my chronic unhappiness. I wrote in the margin of the book, “My chronic unhappiness is the cause of my obesity.” That was so very true when I first came to the program ten years ago. It took coming to OA and working the steps for me to uncover the driving forces behind my compulsive eating. I'm now grateful for my fat because it brought me here with enough desperation to be willing to go to any lengths to lose the weight – and so I have, in large measure.

I no longer carry the weight of trying to please everyone, I'm free of the heavy burden of feeling I am a failure, I've dropped the pounds of shame and resentment I always carried on my back, and have lost the ton of guilt over my angry outbursts.  I still have some hefty, emotional luggage I'm carrying around, but a huge weight has been removed from my daily living. I do feel the Sunshine of the Spirit bathing me in light and lightness.

When I concentrated on my size and weight I was unable to stop eating.  Now, as long as I stay within my Higher Power's will, my eating is for fuel and pleasure and I can leave the results up to the one who carries the weight of my whole life in his strong arms.


Mollie R., Idaho – Guest Blogger

When I was a child, the adults in my life let me down so many times that I stopped trusting them. All of them. I always believed in God, in a power that guides us and wants what's best for us, but each time another imperfect human betrayed me or hurt me, I was sure it was because I must have done something to cause God to turn his back on me. It seemed that no matter what I did, I could not win God's favor.
 
By the time I found program, I was suicidal. I had spent so many years using my eating disorder to keep my feelings at bay, while working endlessly to prove my worth and earn my place in the world. I was exhausted. I could not keep doing what I was doing, but I did not know any other way to live; I was out of ideas. The darkness began to envelop me. I could see only one way to stop the pain. Then something miraculous happened—a small voice inside told me not to give up, and I somehow found the courage to reach out for help.
 
I was in the hospital for only ten days, but those ten days saved my life. It was there that I learned about the Twelve Steps and about Overeaters Anonymous. I attended my first meeting. Something began to shift. A door that had been slammed shut began to open. I began to see that my Higher Power had been with me through everything, putting people in my life when I needed them. I had been too hurt and too afraid to accept the help that was offered.
 
I wish I could tell you that I got a sponsor right away and worked the steps. That is not my story. After I left the hospital, a year and a half passed before I found myself in my second OA meeting, and then it took me two years to ask someone to be my sponsor. She had what I wanted and I was ready to go to any lengths to get what she had. She was calm and serene. Even when life was throwing lemons at her, she trusted her Higher Power completely. When things didn't go "her way," she didn't run from her feelings. She felt them, felt compassion for herself. She got quiet, asked for guidance, and did the footwork. She looked for her part, and trusted her Higher Power to walk with her as she took the next correct action. I wanted what she had and I was willing to risk trusting someone other than myself. As we worked through the steps, my trust in her grew, as did my trust in my Higher Power.
 
OA gave me so many opportunities to trust my fellows and to let go of expectations. I practiced in these rooms, and then in all of my affairs.  Before OA, I saw people with a fearful heart; now I see people with a kind and loving heart.
 
I found a solution in the Twelve Steps and I surrendered to my Higher Power with complete abandon. I did the work and learned to trust the world again. My heart is open and I know with my entire being that my life does not need to be justified. Or earned. It is a true miracle and I am grateful every day.
 
I celebrated 25 years of freedom from bulimia this year. The road has been long and winding, yet I do not regret what I had to face, or the process, with the loving guidance of my Higher Power, because today I feel more joy and more happy days than I ever dreamed possible. All because I chose to take a chance and dare to trust again.

​If you are afraid, OA is here for you. We can help you learn to trust again. All you have to do is find the courage to ask.
 
Alice W. – Region One

When I first attended a Twelve Step program, I quickly “did” all twelve steps in about a month.  That was expected. The Fifth Step, which I chose to do with my priest, was somewhat scary, but I continued on.  When I had completed Step Nine, I felt a great sense of burdens being removed. I joined other fellowships and worked through the steps similarly.
 
Approximately ten years after I first entered “the rooms,” I joined Overeaters Anonymous. I started the same way, not taking long to go through the first nine steps, then continuing to work 10, 11 and 12.  In OA I found that it is common to take the Fourth and Fifth Steps again regarding another person or a particular situation. I have gone through the steps several times in my OA life. 

I have thought of the Sixth and Seventh Steps as the “working steps” for my character defects, but I am beginning to realize I have neglected a wonderful gift in the Fifth Step. To write out a Fifth Step around a character defect, share with Higher Power and then with a sponsor or partner in recovery is truly working the program.  After all, the spiritual Principle of Step Five is integrity.  
 
As it says in For Today on November 3rd:  “I need not be afraid to admit anything to God and to another person, under God’s guidance.”
 
To continue to grow in recovery I need to use the Fifth Step, and I am grateful to do so!
 
Lesley – Region One